not cory

I made my daughter laugh so hard that she threw up. It’s my life’s greatest accomplishment.

🐐🐐🐐

@PMTsportsbiz I don’t think the guys know how toilet paper works. Don’t let them gas light you, you’re right.

“Can’t believe the Packers scored a touchdown there. Should have kneed it with 10:30 left in the 4th quarter. Show some class!” - Arthur Smith, probably.

Live look at Jerry Jones leaving his box after the game

Me on my way to illegally stream the Chiefs/Dolphins game tonight because I refuse to let the NFL bully us into paying for Peacock to watch the game.

If I had DK Metcalf’s body I wouldn’t own a single shirt.

I pray to god that the Wild Card game that is exclusively on Peacock is the lowest viewed football game of all time.

Grown men who get mad about getting the score run up on them in a professional sport are the absolute worst.

You know what’s cool about college football? They play every game on Saturday for the entire season, but then for the National Championship they are like “nah, let’s play this on a Monday night”.

Tell her to shut up before we get Monica on her again.

Monica going after Jen Shah with the troll account and taking the other girls down along the way #RHOSLC

Monica after saying “I don’t think Reality Von Tease was a bad thing, I think scamming elderly people out of millions of dollars is a bad thing.” #RHOSLC

The girls asking Monica if she ran the troll account #RHOSLC

When Monica was trolling everyone but she also exposed Jen Shah #RHOSLC

Jalen Milroe in the Alabama locker room after the Rose Bowl loss

These are things I needed to know before I bet on Alabama.

I’m happy for both of them. I really am. I would have liked to ring in the new year with a fantasy football championship but someone only got me 4 points. Really happy for them though!

I’m treating the @PopTartsBowl like the Super Bowl next year. Going to call off work and have a big party. Will be the event of the year.

Guys, I officially feel old on the internet. I don’t know what this meme means, who this person is, why it’s funny. It just keeps popping up. I don’t even know what to search to figure it out. I think it might be time to retire.

How I’m walking into my house after leaving my wife alone with a toddler and newborn because I had to go back to work.