Ian Power

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Ian Power

Ian Power

@IHPower

If any of my tweets annoy you, please remember I'm just trying to have a laugh. If none of my tweets have annoyed you, be patient, they will.

Essex innit Katılım Temmuz 2010
393 Takip Edilen15.7K Takipçiler
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Ian Power
Ian Power@IHPower·
I, for one, am a great fan of Roman numeral puns.
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Ian Power
Ian Power@IHPower·
I’ve never been much of a fan of Joe Pasquale, but he speaks quite highly about me.
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Ian Power
Ian Power@IHPower·
I see General Bone-Spurs has called other NATO countries cowards. It’s a shame there isn’t a Nobel Prize for irony - the tangerine turd would be a shoo-in for that fucker!
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Ian Power
Ian Power@IHPower·
If there is a stairway to heaven, I bet it's not as long and tortuous as that fucking song.
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Ian Power
Ian Power@IHPower·
Botox makes actors forget their lines.
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Ian Power
Ian Power@IHPower·
Has anyone else noticed that many people who work in IT get disproportionately annoyed when those of us who don’t work in IT don’t share the same knowledge and expertise that they get paid for?
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Ian Power
Ian Power@IHPower·
“Hi Geordie, my sister got hurt by a marsupial in a Malaysian city zoo.” "Kuala Lumpur?" “No, kicked by a kangaroo.”
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Ian Power
Ian Power@IHPower·
When you decide ‘growing old gracefully’ isn’t for you.
Ian Power tweet media
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Ian Power
Ian Power@IHPower·
I just farted and told my wife it was the dog. Then I remembered I don't have a dog. Or a wife... I'm so lonely.
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Ian Power
Ian Power@IHPower·
Hipster colleague’s left his retro gym bag at work while he’s at a meeting. The last time he did that someone drew a retro cock and balls on it. I hope it doesn’t happen again.
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Ian Power
Ian Power@IHPower·
If I had a pet baby kangaroo I'd call it Tribbiani.* *If you don't get this we can never be friends.
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Ian Power
Ian Power@IHPower·
Hands up if you enjoy stretching!
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Ian Power
Ian Power@IHPower·
I've just ordered some books about OCD.
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Ian Power
Ian Power@IHPower·
Me, aged 20: “Oh fuck, the plans for Saturday night have fallen through.” Me, aged 60: “Thank fuck the plans for Saturday night have fallen through.”
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Ian Power
Ian Power@IHPower·
I once took a Lidl bag for life into Waitrose. I think they would've been less horrified if I'd got my cock out.
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Ian Power
Ian Power@IHPower·
I found out the owner’s name of Toyah Willcox's local Chinese takeaway. It's a Mr Wee.
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Ian Power
Ian Power@IHPower·
My ex-wife often gave me ‘the silent treatment’. I liked those bits best.
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Ian Power
Ian Power@IHPower·
I just phoned the Thesaurus Helpline hoping to find an ideal synonym for connected. It was engaged.
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Ian Power
Ian Power@IHPower·
If I had a boomerang I’d name it Mack.* *give yourself one mark if you get this
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Ian Power
Ian Power@IHPower·
“How much for the organic dildo?” "That's a cucumber, sir!" “... How much?”
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