IHeartLikes

44.2K posts

IHeartLikes

IHeartLikes

@IHeartLikes

#1 source of facebook likes and quotes! #Contact: [email protected]

Katılım Mart 2009
131 Takip Edilen79.8K Takipçiler
IHeartLikes
IHeartLikes@IHeartLikes·
When somebody sends me a "k" text, I assume they forgot the rest of "fuc_ you" so I make sure to correct them.
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IHeartLikes
IHeartLikes@IHeartLikes·
I'm dipping my pizza in my beer...I think I'm onto something here.
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IHeartLikes
IHeartLikes@IHeartLikes·
When someone says, "Expect the unexpected," I like to punch them in the face to express my agreement.
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IHeartLikes
IHeartLikes@IHeartLikes·
When in doubt, Google that shit!
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IHeartLikes
IHeartLikes@IHeartLikes·
Siri should probably report me for verbal abuse....
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IHeartLikes
IHeartLikes@IHeartLikes·
I hope gum is the only sticky substance that takes 7 years to digest, or else I know a lot of chicks that are screwed!
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IHeartLikes
IHeartLikes@IHeartLikes·
A kid's way of saying "Fuck You" = "You're not invited to my birthday party"
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IHeartLikes
IHeartLikes@IHeartLikes·
I'm not totally useless... I can be used as a bad example.
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IHeartLikes
IHeartLikes@IHeartLikes·
Of all the lies I tell, "I was just kidding!" is my favorite.
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IHeartLikes
IHeartLikes@IHeartLikes·
Being in a relationship depends on one basic question...do you wanna be happy or right?
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IHeartLikes
IHeartLikes@IHeartLikes·
If days of the week were sex acts, Monday would be a dry, passionless handjob...
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IHeartLikes
IHeartLikes@IHeartLikes·
Relax...We're all crazy...It's not a competition.
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IHeartLikes
IHeartLikes@IHeartLikes·
You think you're pretty smart until you have to figure out how to turn on someone else's shower.
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IHeartLikes
IHeartLikes@IHeartLikes·
I live by a strict code of if I don't open my bills, I don't have to pay them...
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IHeartLikes
IHeartLikes@IHeartLikes·
89: Just 69 with a fat chick.
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IHeartLikes
IHeartLikes@IHeartLikes·
I have yet to see a security guard I couldn't beat the shit out of.
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IHeartLikes
IHeartLikes@IHeartLikes·
When someone says "be honest" what they really mean is: lie to me, but be as convincing as possible.
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IHeartLikes
IHeartLikes@IHeartLikes·
Check my last tweet to gain
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IHeartLikes
IHeartLikes@IHeartLikes·
Want to have the best sex ever? Check out these 20 tips and you'll be a master in the bed! bit.ly/NfjMDG - sp
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IHeartLikes
IHeartLikes@IHeartLikes·
The plan was just to spoon... but we ended up sporking.
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