Iain Ross

Something that happens every game that I find baffling is the teams waiting until the anthem announcement is made or the music starts before they bunch tighter together. Just get into that position first - you know what's coming. Exacerbated by the full squad being present.

Berbatov-at-the-byline is one of my favourite bits of skill, so this fella replicating it in scoring a stoppage-time winner was one of last season's very few highlights. That's about all he did, right enough, but that one is a memory to savour, for sure.

There would likely never be a conflict for players between the latter stages of the World Cup and the Scottish League Cup groups or even the early rounds of European competition, but for fans of clubs involved, scheduling new season matches against the semi-finals is diabolical.

Nothing devalues the World Cup more than players moving clubs while still at the tournament. #GetchaHeadInTheGame

Football is my primary sport of interest, but even I get sick of its cultural ubiquity. Promo for the tennis? Better theme it around the football. Scotland playing rugby? Let's bring up our World Cup campaign. Let other sports be the most important when they're being played.

@ChrisHykiel Do you do this often? Misunderstand the content and context of random tweets before tossing out preposterous charges? At ease, crusader.

@IainRoss93 I cant imagine anyone saying "we have no chance of winning" and ignore Mexico. Maybe do a survey of all commentators of the nations still in and feedback! Maybe stop spinning anti English Xenophobia/racism?

"Why do the Scots always want us to lose?" Because I'm trying to enjoy Mexico v Ecuador as a neutral, but the English commentator on our exclusive broadcaster keeps suggesting that Mexico would be a daunting prospect for England in the next round, which you haven't reached yet.

@ScarletShamrock Cheers. I certainly haven't enjoyed my last few log-ins. Anyway, GO PATS!

@IainRoss93 Ah the grumps are comin for ya, look out

Twice, Jonathan Pearce claimed that Romelu Lukaku is 31 years old. Twice. (He's 33.) I would obviously say that he never had it (though he was well-suited to 'Robot Wars'), but even those who enjoy him must surely admit that if he ever did have it, he has definitely lost it now.

Jonathan Pearce has now confidently declared three times across two games that Mauricio Pochettino has been coaching for 27 years, since 1999 (and played at the World Cup in 2002). He started his managerial career in 2009, 17 years ago. Notes = bad, critical thinking = zero.

Accidentally watched 3 matches with audio description: BBC just use 5 Live (tennis updates!). ITV's Steven Jamieson really earns his money. Faster, more detailed and with fewer mistakes than normal TV commentators. Fortunately, it's more than I need, but impressive all the same.

My favourite argument against the myth of Messi's modesty has presented itself again: his insistence on taking penalty kicks despite being objectively not very good at them.

You've let yourself go?! You're past it?!

@ScousePete1986 Apparently not.

@IainRoss93 If I was this thick Id delete the app

@tom_breedon @VulcanVilla The first response that was actually valid, then (his, not yours). The question (which I have seen loads of people asking, for the record) was merely a framing device (I know, on a fucking tweet) for a wee whinge on a recurring irritation. You have no idea why I feel anything.

@IainRoss93 @VulcanVilla It isn't an argument. Nobody asks why Scots want us to lose. We know it, and you know it. Your need to invent ever more reaching narratives to avoid saying the real reason (that you're the shit team in a one sided local rivalry and you're bitter about it) is a you thing.

@JonWi786 @tom_breedon Sir, this is not a Wendy's. Seriously, though: you have accurately described my tweets as inconsequential, yet here you are replying to a reply to a reply to one.

@IainRoss93 @tom_breedon Unfortunately Iain, the commentary, the channel, or the world in general, is not built around what Iain from twitter reckons Sorry that fact seems to upset you so much

@VulcanVilla @tom_breedon The only fair argument I've received. The answer would be no, however, as it's less the speculation itself that's the issue and more the frequency.

@IainRoss93 @tom_breedon You must also hate all of those teams too then, right?

Oh, I forgot the quote tweeters. People so into their public persona that, instead of just replying underneath with their misplaced snark like a regular headcase, they've used my nothing tweet as content for their opinion gallery. Whatever helps you get those followers, folks.

The wannabe smart alecs who aren't quite as literate as they think they are, the bookmarking gloaters, the patronisers, the abusers... Genuinely a mental response to a complete stranger with a tiny account saying he doesn't like your football team because our shared media suck.

At the Club World Cup last year, they only had the cooling breaks when the temperature reached a certain (pretty high) number. Really, they should just have a bunch of Adam Sandlers circling the pitch 'Bomberman'-style chucking bottles to the players whenever there's a stoppage.

@BrianHepburn14 I don't mind that - they're just giving extra information about the players to contextualise them, probably for viewers who might not watch a lot of other football, and they do it for those with clubs in Scotland and elsewhere as well.

@IainRoss93 Why do English commentators refer to international players, playing for their country as e.g. Diarra of Sunderland or Tielemans of Villa? Why the need to relate any player possible on the pitch back to their English club when that’s definitely NOT who they are representing?