Not the Mama_AF@ningie123
Some of you have may have heard me tell this story, but I tell it every year in hopes that it reaches someone new struggling and to remind myself of what really matters.
Several years ago, I was sick almost the entire month of December. Auto immune issues can do that to you. Too sick to shop. Too sick to wrap. Too sick to put up a tree, decorate anything, or cook the traditional Christmas dinner.
I had 4 kids at home and not alot of money. Usually Christmas is such a big deal in our home. Caroling, parades, ice skating trips, cookie baking...the whole nine yards. I did whatever I had to do to make it special. But that year I just couldn't. I felt horrible. I felt like I was letting my kids down. I felt like for the first time my kids would miss out on the magic of Christmas that I had worked so hard to provide for them over the years.
I did what I could. I shopped online. I told myself at least they'd have some presents to open Christmas morning. As the Amazon boxes came in, I just piled them on a shelf, too sick to do anything else with them. Christmas Eve night, before I went to bed, I prayed that my kids wouldn't feel too disappointed and that their entire holiday wouldn't be ruined.
Christmas morning came. I didn't feel any of the normal excitement or joy. I definitely didn't have any Christmas spirit. But Christmas came to my home anyway. My kids came and got me and told me to come into the living room. There, in front of the electric fireplace, they'd hung some stockings, the ones they could find. They'd piled up all the boxes and found the Charlie Brown Christmas tree we'd bought as a joke years before and placed it on top of them. They'd made a buffet of sorts out of things they knew how to make and things we had on hand. They had Christmas music playing and were laughing and so happy they'd been able to do all this on their own.
Then they opened boxes. No names. No idea what was for whom. They had the best time trying to figure it out and swapping with each other when they found something they really wanted. It was like a party game to them and they LOVED it.
We ate scrambled eggs, toast, and an assortment of lunch meat, cheese, fruit, and crackers. I don't think I've ever had a Christmas dinner that felt better.
When I tell you that I cried...oof. That is a severe understatement. I broke down. I had spent all that time worrying about what I couldn't or hadn't provided them and they turned around and showed me one magic Christmas morning that I had it ALL wrong.
So this Christmas, if for whatever reasons, your normal traditions weren't possible, if your house doesn’t look like a Hallmark commercial, if your tree has less presents under it than someone else's...let all that go. What matters, what TRULY matters is the love in your home. I had forgotten that, or lost it in the busyness of the season. What a beautiful, beautiful answer to a prayer I recieved that day.
I hope all of you are surrounded by the people you love and who love you this Christmas. That your homes are filled with laughter and joy. I love you all so very much.
Merry Christmas, my friends ❤️
