Ian Alda

I’m so out of practice at getting out of plans that I’ve been reduced to actually getting together with people

For the life of me, I cannot remember why we are invading Venezuela

Trump and MAGA want to put an end to people changing their pronouns and then they ban the Associated Press for deadnaming the Gulf of America

On the bright side, at least we can now enjoy a steady supply of think pieces

Boy, did I NOT miss the election night music on CNN and MSNBC

Don’t waste another minute. Make your concept of a plan to vote today.

@BillAckman @realDonaldTrump @KamalaHarris Why does Highway Patrol only pull over people who are speeding?

Why do the moderators only fact check @realDonaldTrump and not @KamalaHarris?

Trump looked annoyed the entire debate. Not just with Kamala but with the whole democracy thing.

Kamala makes a pointed dig at Trump’s rallies and then watches him self immolate

Our first question tonight goes to the CNN focus group of undecided voters. Are you guys fucking serious?

This is the best speech ever delivered by a guy named Doug

At this point I think we can safely assume that the shooter was an undecided voter

The benevolent tired old man vs the energetic convict

Well, this verdict will cost Trump at least one vote (as a convicted felon he can’t vote for himself)

This is going to cost Trump dozens of votes

Katie Britt is doing the exact same monologue I did for my NYU school of drama audition

Most frequently used words in Katie Britt's GOP rebuttal: "Y'all" and "Raped"

Mike Johnson's porn monitor is going dark tonight

Republicans. What won’t they clap for next?

Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our greatest fear is that Marianne Williamson will never stop running for president.

How do I check in with my friends to make sure they got home safely from Burning Man without having to hear any stories about Burning Man?