Funeral Balloons

me: mario levels are simple and can't define my versatile eclectic personality also me:

@tysnotfunny DANG THOUGHT THAT ONE WOULD KILL

Telling a joke that bombs, explaining the joke , then calling it the best one amongst all the other stupid ones to get the room laughing? This man was born for open mic comedy

if you don't like to talk about politics it's because you have shit politics and know you'll be judged for them as you should be

uh, garcon, I'll take your finest buzzball. decanted? phooey, I wouldn't think of it.

Sorry immediately to Native Americans: why is using every part of the animal good? if I were hunted and eaten it's not like I'm gonna feel better just because they made my eyeballs into soup. "oh they turned my dick into ice cream, I'm so glad" I just don't buy that

@NeillBlomkamp humiliating thanks

NIGHTBORNE is the first full test AI film I have made. It was made using Seedance 2.0. I've been experimenting with AI for a couple of years, and it's now at the point where I want to tackle a full feature in this format. This is a 13-minute test start. It was made with real concept artists, and features the faces and voices of 32 real people. Barley Studios will be my new AI studio for creating my own films, the way Oats Studios was for traditional film and VFX. @Barleystudiosai Full film in the reply.

@BobaFetterman2 @JustineBateman right because in a super-rich society why tf should anyone have what they want, is that your actual point?

@JustineBateman There are so many jobs available today in the trades. Very lucrative jobs with massive career potential. AI will not be replacing these industries anytime soon. Wants vs needs.

I agree that UBI is a soul-killer. Better use of these people’s time would be to create new jobs for others. A sense of accomplishment, worth, and purpose does not come from relying on government-regulated UBI while you have nothing to do.

@OrangeFreddyG this is a man who knows how much soap he has

When Covid hit I made a joke on here that I had enough soap in my house for like 5 years. And I actually just ran out of that supply of soap over 6 years later.

@king_of_bob @reggiebblue not just supporting, but funding. couldn't have happened without our missles, we killed those kids, with our own tax dollars

@reggiebblue Nah, it was actively supporting a genocide.

Hunter Biden: "The single greatest mistake of my father's administration was the leadership of Merrick Garland. Did you not see these people storming the Capitol? You didn't see a president and know that there was a concerted and planned effort? He doesn't do anything. We don't end up going after him. I don't get it. I absolutely don't get it."

for reasons i don't understand, Tim's outfit here is basically what i wear to every film fest

Hollywood executives are now scouring reddit for homespun horror memes to turn into blockbusters and I sure hope they find my post "AITA because I laughed when my wife got banned from r/women?" I mean there's real franchise opportunity there

tiktok suicide note be like "guess who didn't understand the assignment?"

aloe is great on wounds but, let's be honest, it's slime

@JustineBateman @elonmusk Edison actually invented some things ya know

Gavin Newsom is a deluded weirdo. Taking credit for @elonmusk’s success? LOLOLOL

@charliebcurran may honestly be the worst thing I've ever looked at or heard, the world is so much worse with this having been in it, much like Lindsey Graham. May it suffer the same fate!

I used AI to remake Seinfeld, with peptides.

Oops kissed my dad on the neck for his birthday. Went in for a hug, ended up wrong. Way too erogenous, no good, 0 stars on letterboxd, 20% RT score (cast did what they could with the material they were given), the devil (Satan) loved it

@monk_guita39679 @EdTNYC820 @JustineBateman "bootlicking" means sucking up to cops or soldiers, hence those professions typically wearing "boots". Not a mayor. You sound very confused because you probably are.

@EdTNYC820 @JustineBateman So now he’s a hero? You naive boot licker.

His first moves were to ask the NY citizens to help shovel snow, tell them to set their AC to 78 in a heat wave, and then immediately give himself and others a raise? NYC appears to have really stepped in it.

hiccups feels like having a heart attack that no one gives a shit about, and they tell you to shut up

i think about this every day (i have very slippery feet)

@WhiteHouse Y'all always forget the poem about nazi aggression starts with "First they came for communists", then the "socialists", then "trade unionists". Y'all hate all of those.

You can be a communist or you can be a patriot. You cannot be both.

@afleshwound @JoeBiden @DrBiden America had slaves way after it was outlawed in most of europe lol, why act like you know things when you don't, seems silly and pointless

@JoeBiden @DrBiden Wow what a pathetic holier than thou shit. Fuck you and everything you pretend to stand for! America is not an idea ITS REAL AND WE DID IT in spite of useless aholes like you and your staff. America ended slavery FOR THE WORLD. And so much more. I'll be damned

Two hundred and fifty years ago, a group of Americans signed their names to a piece of parchment and made a promise no nation had ever made before: that we're all created equal, endowed by our Creator with unalienable rights — life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. We're the only nation in history built not on ethnicity, or blood, or geography but on an idea. That's always been what makes us exceptional. We chose that path 250 years ago but that’s where the work began, not where it ended. Every generation has had to choose it again. At Valley Forge, at Gettysburg, on the beaches of Normandy, in the streets of Selma. Americans recommitted themselves to the principles on which our nation was founded. Now it's our turn. There's nothing guaranteed about our democracy. We have to fight for it, defend it, and earn it. Over and over, year after year. That's not a burden. That's what it means to be an American. 250 years in, we still haven't fully lived up to those words in the Declaration. But we've never walked away from them, and this July 4, I hope all of us can commit to one thing: that we never will. I don't believe we're as divided as we're told we are. I've bet my whole life on the American people, and I'm not stopping now. Happy 250th birthday, America. Our story isn't finished. Let's keep writing it together.