TR

@lukerhodeschef @BBCOne @MasterChefUK I was really hoping you'd go all the way Luke, you've been such a pleasure to watch! I was in love with the fish and chips dish you did. The world hasn't seen the best of you yet 😉 you did it for the Yorkshire folk and you did us proud!

Tune in @BBCOne 9pm for @MasterChefUK the professionals the final 8 remain see if I can grab my place in finals week 🤞🤞🤞 #MasterChefUK #MasterchefTheProfessionals #masterchefukluke #bbcone #bbciplayer

Just watching #100KiloKids and have to say some of the parents, one in particular, is doing absolutely nothing to help her son. Playing the victim whilst staff work their bollocks off to get him healthy. Absolutely toxic mothering, it’s not all about you. Help. Your. Child.

Shoutout to all you overachievers out there. You know who you are

"ooh, is it gonna be a boy or a girl?" "We're having a surprise!" Well you're not, it's only a fucking surprise if you give birth to a strawberry trifle, then you'd be surprised as fuck.

Workplace creep says "how comes you don't have a Skype picture?" Cos I'm not that arsed about you printing it off for your collection, you sweaty little man.