Ingo Pickenacker

@ThatsSoVillage Opposition no. 5 faked a hamstring injury, didn't do it well enough so had to stay out, then 'accidentally' got stranded at the same end as the other batsman who never left his ground. Trotted off, showered, straight into his car and off to a 21st birthday party.

What’s the most village thing that happened in your game this weekend? 🏏🫣

@ZaltzCricket petition for Gus Atkinson to be nicknamed 'Cube' as when Woakes was dismissed yesterday the score was 216-6 and the not out batsman was Root

@sid_lambert That's Mulleried, not Van Bastaned

It’s 21 years since the ball fell perfectly to Gareth Ainsworth on the volley… and he Van Basten’d the arsehole out of it.

@RacingGuru007 I'd like to see that photo, thought he just held on

Bobby Joe Leg done out of a place on the line. Sickener

Waste of time trying to pretend not being at home when this chap came round trying to flog broadband

@FootballCliches Might be missing something here but there was no red card shown to Moran

Completely distracted by the fact this pub has the name of 1985 FA Cup final red-card history-maker Kevin Moran emblazoned on the front of it

@PaulHYork @nocontextfm1 Magnificent. Also a tiny bit Courtney.

Angry non-league managers is my new favourite genre of video

@BrianPingu @FootballCliches @sebdwhite He was called that on Shooting Stars

When Holland sack their manager and immediately announce his successor

Amazing that this whole website is run by these two shops

@sutts87 @Cheath83 @lezford by some distance the best two and a half minutes of football you'll ever see

@JerichoKeys Trifon Ivanov, magnificent

Pub chat… the greatest long haired footballers ever (has to be able to be put it into a ponytail or tied up when cooking or operating heavy machinery). E.G. Gabriel Batistuta, Francesco Totti, David Prutton etc. Go!!!

@Cheath83 Although if you are departing for a fuck, the very last thing you want is to be snagged by De Kock

@Cheath83 That is magnificent! (Was at school with Lizzy's brother btw)

A year ago this happened

@Cheath83 @TheBarmyArmy No way to treat the greatest living Englishman

@TheBarmyArmy @IngoPickenacker

🤨🤨🤨

So much grim news about. Where are the sexy summer stories!?

Elton once phoned me and asked if I wanted to buy a Roll Royce. I said "what reg". He said, "DO YOU WANT TO BUY A ROLLS ROYCE"

@SharlandNM Superb mate thanks, you too obviously, I'd join you were I not umpiring!

@IngoPickenacker Thanks very much! Hope you're well?

Just thinking ahead here: any ideas for pubs in York showing the Test tomorrow? Need to get a colleague into cricket and my plan requires a pub. @IngoPickenacker?