Does anyone wanna be friends w me? We can talk abt WL and our dreams once we lost the weight… im currently fasting and have been fasting for several weeks (breaking it off after 3-5 days per fasting cycle)
Makes me want to start over and live a life where nobody knows me. No coworkers, no classmates, no family, no friends. Build it fresh, as a disordered girl and make friends online…
So what if ppl notice its me? Why must i live a lie? Why must i live as if im perfect with no flaws. No disorders, no bad thoughts… and whats worse is that im doing this to myself. No one told me not to post, not to open up, i told myself not to.
Cant believe i live my life like im living it for someone else. Its all a performance. The job i chose, my personality, i wanna open up to the media, not show my face, but then im scared ppl will notice my bedroom, my dinnerware, my items.
I wanna start fasting again but then i work and work gives me stress and im like fuck it i need quick comfort which is food 😭 I look at my big plate of food thinking aint no way ill finish it but then i do and somehow still want more!
Why do you guys live? Depression has been going on for too long I wonder if Ill ever come back. For what should I come back? I dont even know what happiness is anymore. Is there anything that’ll make me feel happy?
I rly want to make it to 1 week tho atleast 🥹 I know at this rate I cant do 2 weeks… But literally just 1 more day til 1 full week. But how can i even go to the grocery store to buy food? I dont wanna eat delivery food 😩
The way i almost fainted after a shower 😭😭😭 my stomach is now hurting like no other and the damn stomach acid keeps coming back up 😭😭😭 i guess i need to eat fr
Got depressed but anyway now it’s my 5th day of fasting. Nothing but water and a pepsi max a day. Absolutely no energy. All i do is sleep and toss around while watching shows and ignoring my responsibilities 😭😭😭