Silence Dogood

@cspan Did the Founders ever foresee a time when due to the massive Federal Governments unpopulaity, that instead of fixing what made it unpopular (massive unaccountable powers that no American Citizens ever voted for) it would seek to insulate itself from the populace with armed guard?

just ate 20 buffalo wings but didn’t touch my side celery or carrots in the name of health

Just designed the perfect strip mall that will get exactly zero visitors each day

hantavirus son or lettuce diarrhea daughter

When you eat produce in Trump’s America:

Urgent care be like let’s get to the bottom of this and then they don’t

exposure tracking in case i get the parasite 😔

i love how $25 everything is becoming

diarrhea would have to be coming out of my eyes for me to switch up on the bell i’m so sorry

why is there never an outbreak of something nice

Olive Garden is bringing back its Never Ending Pasta Pass for the first time in six years The $100 pass gives customers unlimited pasta dishes for 13 weeks with no limit on visits

the autistic experience of involuntary leadership because everyone is bad at their job

i just dont think every company needs a quirky social media account

Hey man, that’s really awesome that you saved some of your 4th of July fireworks so you could set them off at noon on the 13th of July

I love rejecting cookies. aww you want to sell my data? absolutely no chance but I love ur enthusiasm

― Franz Kafka, Letters to Milena

can’t fw nobody who wanna go out everyday I dont got that many outfits gang

Practice tip: When writing an opposition brief, take out the placeholders telling you what to write before you file it.