🍐READ BOOKS! (((and eat salt bagels)))

Am I an Old Dog? I've got a birthday coming up and started a blog. Check out my "Old Dog Project". wp.me/p57uxR-2

Today marks SIX WEEKS since I was elected by the voters of AZ-07. For six weeks, @SpeakerJohnson has denied them their voice in Congress. That's not leadership. That's obstruction.

@StephenKing Perfect! You do the best tweets! 👏

This feels like one of those Family Guy cutaways that goes on for 30 seconds too long

Enten: "Canada is far more popular than Donald Trump is here in the United States. The net popularity of Canada is +49. Trump is -10. We're talking about Canada coming out nearly 60 points ahead on the net popularity ratings versus Donald Trump here in the US"

YES!! 🙌🏻

AN UMBRELLA MADE IN CHINA HAS DEFEATED OUR PRESIDENT. AMERICANS ARE IN SHOCK. (MANY ARE SCREAMING IN HORROR.) BUT I, GAVIN C. NEWSOM, CAN CLOSE MY OWN UMBRELLA. I ONCE CLOSED THREE UMBRELLAS SIMULTANEOUSLY. WHILE IT WAS STILL RAINING! CHOOSE STRENGTH. -- GCN ("C" IS FOR CLOSER.)

SINCE DONNY IS PUTTING TARIFFS ON AMERICANS, I'M PUTTING TARIFFS ON DONNY. 30% ON GIFTS FROM QATAR. 40% ON UGLY BALLROOMS. (NASTY!) 50% ON PUMPKIN MAKE UP. 70% ON UMBRELLA LESSONS (FOR BEGINNERS!) 100% ON KID ROCK SHOWS AT MADISON SQUARE GARDEN (AKA OLIVE GARDEN.) THANK YOU! -GCN

@StephenKing I think we need to stop comparing DT to A.H. When you think of it, he's more a Mussolini. Now, his Deputy Chief of Staff? HE's a Nazi. In fact, not sure if I believe in reincarnation, but I think he is the 21st century Joseph Goebbels

As opposed to Trumpty-Dumpty, who says he hates Democrats.

@StephenKing 💯💯💯 #ReleaseAllTheEpsteinFiles

By most metrics, the U.S. economy was the strongest in the world when Mr. Trump took office in January, leading some analysts to describe the president’s actions as a historic self-inflicted wound akin to a soccer player’s scoring a goal against his own team.

Live from the Oval Office

Can’t help myself…

@essenviews Hey, dude, it's half your age PLUS 7, not minus!

Almost never?

If Politics were driven by rational thought and objective truths, it would instead be called Science.

You can keep blaming us for the weather, but don't try to pin this shitshow on Jews...

@hwinkler4real Chocolate

Tea

@StephenKing So, what happened? IThey choose to leave democracy in the dark on a slow IV morphine drip for now, to hedge their bets?

@lespdoyle @BrynDonovan @Lauraschmidt888 I was surprised this week to hear Stephen Colbert, 60—born 1964, smack dab in Gen Jones—refer to himself as Gen X. Since so few know or accept that Jonesers are a thing, if Colbert can get away with calling himself Gen X, maybe the rest of us "late boomers" should do the same.