Ivan

The king is here👑

In SaaS, downtime is a sin. In #F1, a cancelled race is a crime. Iran's attack just robbed us of 2 hours of elite engineering and strategy. Am I upset? Obviously. I don't follow politics, I follow the points table. Don't waste my Sunday.

@Nithya_Shrii If you ask the lion, the grass is just the plate.

If you ask the grass, the zebra is the monster and the lion is the protector.

@IllimitableMan_ Whenever you see a bitter woman, you’re just looking at a 6-month countdown that hit zero.

No woman who’s not a virgin can stay 6 months without sex.

@Sajwani If Facebook dies, the global supply of glittery coffee cup GIFs will hit zero. Millions of grandmas are shaking right now.

Meta is shutting down metaverse — what a day we have come to

@Blonddieee_ I’m sure if I search hard enough, I’ll find YOU in the 'amateur' section.

How do I find porn on Twitter?

@Mubarak_mubious It’s always the ones living with their moms who have the loudest opinions on 'struggle.'

what’s a sign someone hasn't faced much hardships in life ??

@DanBilzerian This is exactly how propaganda works: it makes you distrust everything except the lies they feed you in secret Telegram channels.

The war is a complete disaster, they are lying to you about everything. False Flag attack incoming.

@rexjonesnewz @grock what tweet?

Holy shit did Trump delete the tweet???

@Cobratate Someone clearly didn't forget to take their meds this morning.

Good Morning everyone I hope you have a wonderful day! 🌞🌤️🫡🙂

@paulg Twitter told me we finished building the world in Jan '26.

"Anything made before 2028 is going to be valuable." — an OpenAI employee implicitly discloses their timetable

@Tekeee Markets crash, but our quality is a fixed asset. Get on our level before you're completely broke.

Gold is crashing. Silver is crashing. Crypto is crashing. Stocks are crashing. The dollar is crashing. Real talk what should we buy now?

@mamaxoxomia If it takes more than 3 months to decide, the decision is already made: it’s not you.

I’ve been dating this man for 7 months and I’m still not his girlfriend. Im wasting my time huh??!!🫩

@vikrantgupta73 The 'end of the world' started years ago. If you didn't realize WW3 is already here, you’ve been living in a bubble.

Stock markets crashing as if it’s the end of the world!

@alexeixbt God definitely loves a twisted joke. He gives you the keys to the kingdom but adds a 'no-talking' clause just to test your ego.

remember when it starts to work, shut your f*cking mouth bro

@kevinxu A real man uses willpower as his only supplement.

friend of mine finally got a house, wife, and kids never seen him more stressed in his life

@miiagarro A real man uses willpower as his only supplement.

stop using ozempic and starve like a real man

@IGGYAZALEA I’m asking for the money. All of it. From clients who don't ask for discounts.

Ask and you shall receive!

@rahman_jago_ Those who actually disappoint the crowd to build something massive are called Founders.

May you find the courage to disappoint people who expect you to stay small.

@itskiiarax Believe it or not, we love it. Why? Because while your hands are on the controller, they aren't busy texting your 'bestie' about some imaginary problem we caused.

Do men actually like when their girl plays video games with them?

@sley_Xk Don't mistake 'letting it slide' for weakness. It's the most effective way to conquer you without firing a shot.

I don't think women realize how much we let slide, just for the sake of peace.