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IzreL♟️
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IzreL♟️
@Izrel__
|| Aesthete || Human || Philomath ||
Abuja, Nigeria Katılım Eylül 2015
1.8K Takip Edilen1.5K Takipçiler
@aibangsvikta @naughty_libra07 How do you check unpaid loan tied to your BVN?
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I don't like that it's quite a quantum entanglement, though I much prefer that phrasing haha. It's the component of biology/nature that people have no idea is so strong.
I'm an adoptee. The first time I finally connected with my bio mom over the phone, it was like talking to my best friend at the time, one of few people I've met to this day whom I thought and acted most like. We talked for hours with ease despite us both being naturally prone to social anxiety. It was wild to me how she was finishing my sentences and I, hers.
The second time I spoke to her over the phone, however, it felt like talking to myself. So much so that it was both seemingly miraculous and dizzying at the same time. It was like another me was on the other side of the phone, saying aloud what I was thinking or would say, exactly as I'd say it, at essentially the exact pace I would say, responding to things at the rate I would, adding gasps, and "ohs," and pauses...where I inherently did and do.
The third time I spoke to her was in person before a week-long road trip. We preferred the same body wash, used the same mascara, took approximately the same time getting ready, washed our hands the same way far too frequently after putting on obvious display (mainly from the similar faces we made) our hesitancy to touch certain objects in the hotel. Each day, we both showed up with our cameras and multiple batteries ready, purses packed way too full, but organized thoroughly (except for the very bottoms, which were full of all sorts of trinkets comprised of mostly the same items) "just in case." We asked the same questions of tour guides or had to alternate being quiet because the other already knew what to inquire. We stopped to take most of the same pics. I had never met and still have yet to meet anyone else who takes as many photos as I do. We responded to old architecture we visited with near identical posture, gestures, and dropped-jaws.
The few moments my behavior diverged from this woman who had been a total stranger for over 26, I think it was, years of my life, she'd laugh a little and look down with a smile, then proceed to tell me after I asked "What?" how much I reminded her of my bio dad.
I had never known anything about her, and yet, there was this remarkably powerful, obviously innate replication of her in me. And I, never having known what I looked like — partially from having symptoms of body dysmorphic disorder, but partially what I realized was not growing up with any biological family — could look at her and see parts of myself and appreciate them for the first time, seeing what they looked like not in a mirror how I tried "fixing" them, but as they were on another en-souled human, in the flesh, fully animated.
I still don't like the way I look. (Right now, I struggle not to feel embarrassed.) But seeing those qualities made me realize I wasn't all bad, because if I could see beauty in her, and I looked like her, part of me must be at least some kind of attractive, too. Maybe not in the standard-of-beauty way, but in how people are individually beautiful.
It became clear, though, that people take allll of these things for granted. And in some way, there is time and space involved lol. But it transcends space, time, and even knowing the person because it's ingrained in our DNA. It's nothing we can change. The things that bother us bother our biological parents to some extent, and vice versa, because we are cut from the same cloth. And as such, they and we react to figurative heat, pressure, temperature, wear and tear...in the same ways.
There are countless differences between my bio mom and me, of course. We're both very much our own individuals. But what is alike overlaps almost to a T. It was startling and amazing to see and experience all at once.
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