Jeanne Mack

One of the weirdest things about the New York City marathon is that it’s almost as much fun to watch as it is to run. tempojournal.com/article/dancin…

Honestly I stand by this question

I’m making a queue, I’m checking it twice, I’m gonna find out if Taylor swift has lice

@DanielDingus I hate when I don’t realize I’ve been subtweeted until weeks later

Addicted to the game and by game I mean driving 2.5 hrs in traffic to Long Island during my busiest work week of the year to have a specialist use a fancy tool to suck crap out of my ear holes.

@DanielWinn 👁👁

If I ever get rich it won't be the half hard work, half getting lucky kind. It will be the 100% sheer luck kind. I can guarantee you that

Can’t trust anyone who uses an umbrella though so I try not to give the sight of a brella too much credence

Whenever it’s raining and I look out the window to gauge just how hard it’s coming down I’m left more confused than if I hadn’t looked. Some people are using umbrellas, some people aren’t even wearing hoods!! Some windshield wipers are set at turbo speed, some aren’t even on

@ZachACole Answer is still nah though

Okay last one

Is he… a Cali boy now? ✨ 🌴

@DanielWinn going to be offended if you don’t take anything next time you’re over now

I think I'm going to start stealing things I want from my friends' apartments

Sandals in feb what a way to live

@DanielWinn I do remember it. I think we were in Williamsburg at the time?

.@JMMackattack remember when I said the word serpentine always made me think of The In-Laws (1979) and you said me too? That was so cool

@ZachACole Not ok

Chaos

@davidmellyruns “It is probably the best thing I’ve ever written” - the author

I think about this tweet like 3 times a week

@ZachACole Nb indoor?!

Going island hopping today 🏝 (Manhattan to BK to Staten)

Just saw a perfectly normal looking person on the train clip all ten of their fingernails and let the trimmings fall in their lap and then put the clippers away and brush each individual nail shard off their pants onto the ground. Psychopaths are everywhere

@careenright Ruuuuuudeeeee stranger sheesh

It’s a poet’s wordle you’re all just living in it

It’s like the people in don’t look up have never even seen Armageddon. Do they really not know about sending oil drillers to land on the comet and blow it up into a ton of very small itty bitty comets????? Idiots

Just got a piece of ketchup flavored chip in my eye. That’s it. That’s the tweet

@kjramming Yesss Karen yes 👑

Merry Christmas everyone!!