Jordan Paul

"Rubbing alcohol is for outside wounds; drinking alcohol is for inside wounds. It's science." -Nick Miller

@DanhausenAD Congratulationhausen!

Say congratulations to Danhausen or you are cursed

So God loves only American troops? Not innocent people who lost their lives in Iran? Where was God's "miraculous protection" for them? This is the inevitable result of believing that God is on "our side." It's making a false god in our image: a god who despises Iranians.

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! 😳

@dheller91 Kane was amazing for the Spurs. Put him in this kind of team, the results are astounding. Never thought I'd love an Englishman this much lol

Other than being the best attacking trio since Messi, Neymar & Suárez in 2014/15, it’s been absolute joy watching EVERY. SINGLE. NARRATIVE. completely collapse this season. Harry Kane - He has 49 goals + 5 assists for Bayern this year. In Champions League knockout matches since joining? 9 goals + 2 assists in 9 games. “Not a big-game player” they said… Luis Díaz - Liverpool fans called him past his prime and finished. €67.5m to Bayern and he’s already matched Ekitike + Wirtz combined in the Champions League. 23 goals + 15 assists in just 40 matches across all competitions. They said he was washed while they struggle to secure Champions League. Michael Olise - He is on track to break Messi’s single-season assist record. That alone is insane… but add 2 goals + 3 assists in 6 Champions League knockout games. What you saw yesterday? That’s been him ALL YEAR. If you’re still criticizing, you simply don’t watch. Bayern Munich and Vincent Kompany didn’t just build an attack...they constructed one of the most lethal, balanced, and beautiful attacking trios in modern football history. The ones who actually watch Bayern already knew. Now the rest of you are being forced to admit it. And the stats don’t lie. Kane. Díaz. Olise. This trio is different.

@kevinhatchard I think him being 36, and ive noticed a decline in the last year, it gives him some trophies at the twilight of a nice career. But that's speculation for me.

Don't understand what Oliver Baumann would get out of accepting a move to Bayern to be Jonas Urbig's understudy (if Neuer retires). Would blow his chances of keeping Germany gig, and ruin efforts to break the Bundesliga appearance record.

🎵 You're my sunshine, my only sunshine...

𝑻𝑯𝑬𝑺𝑬 𝑭𝑨𝑵𝑺 𝑵𝑬𝑽𝑬𝑹 𝑺𝑻𝑶𝑷 𝑺𝑰𝑵𝑮𝑰𝑵𝑮 😮‍💨 🎥 @JaimeHerrero19

“You can’t fuck-up twice in a war” Οὐκ ἔστιν ἐν πολέμῳ δὶς ἁμαρτάνειν #Arsenius #Proverb

@HoodieRamey Now that he's not the Ravens coach, just go fuckin be a politician already. All these stupid non answers

LMAO this is comedy

“….the greatest purveyor of violence in the world today, my own government.” #MLK

I'll never forgive the media for being a large part of why this is happening. They were just so bored and Biden wouldn't give them enough interviews, so they had to help bring the Mad King back...

@RavensTalkPod God dammit I knew it. Didn't even take a full day lol x.com/i/status/20411…

It’s not fair actually. Get that money if you stay for 80% of the workouts but the tone has been set.

If you dont open the Strait of Hormuz in 48 hours Im going to extend the deadline!!!! If you dont open the strait after that...IM GOING TO EXTEND THE DEADLINE AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@HoodieRamey You know better than that. Media gonna say he's just going through the motions blah blah blah

Lamar showing up to the facility in April so I don’t gotta listen to people say he’s not locked in

Manipulate. Instigate. Zorp.

@BavarianFBWorks @ReutersConnect I wonder if this is more of a commentary on his own time Or my nostalgia says shut up, give me Tommy lol

➡️ℹ️ Oliver Kahn isn't sure Thomas Müller could yet make a return to FC Bayern for a leadership role; 🗣"Today, a club has to develop its own programs and ideas: What is the right path for someone in such a role? How and when will he be involved in which area? To believe that you can bring in a former player at some point because of his past: That falls short.” [@SZ via @BILD]

@nonewthing Given the reckless venture to murdering Iranians and hardly revering our fallen soldiers at each dignified transfer and using them as fund raising plays, no. He doesnt give a fuck.

The American willpower and passion for their own is unrivalled. Each American soldier plunges into a military zone knowing they will never be left behind.