John L. Prokap

@DelusionPosting New Jersey

@HighyieldHarry @TiehackCapital You'll be billed extra in your subconscious while under...

@TiehackCapital Good luck

PE-owned anesthesiologist putting me under in upcoming surgery. How cooked am I?

If bartenders can go to jail for over-serving alcohol to someone who then kills another person, judges should go to jail for releasing criminals who do the same.

The FBI is monitoring my internet activity so I set my VPN to Epstein's island so they no longer care what I do.

@ceraliza just as long as housekeeping can turn over the room in negative 4 hours.

Hotel check-in should be at 11AM, and checkout should be at 3PM

@RampCapitalLLC @TheStalwart @conorsen I turns out I've been monitoring the situation by staring at a calculator.

@TheStalwart @conorsen One more drink at the Polymarket bar first then I’ll grab an Uber

Stock futures back to flat. Go back to your families.

You're suggesting that criticism of The Koran's command to kill 'infidels' is intimidation ? Are you expecting people like me to cheer as the prospect of being massacred ? You are a very, very silly little man In fact I suspect you are a Roman Atkinson sketch

@HighyieldHarry I wouldn't wait 45 minutes for a free ice cream cone.

@realEstateTrent Up 189k since last post, well done...

Hey help ‘em out

Literally exactly that.

@SenseiShao Did the mountain get grounded?

Fox Island drive to relax. Too bad the mountain isn’t out right now but the lighthouse gives a cool vibe. Peaceful, playful environments >

@kelin_online "Stay in your lane." Why on Earth would I do that?

“the lanes are imaginary and the map is on fire” yes yes yes

@SullyCNBC Everyone's on line at JFK apparently...

Not sure I’ve ever seen Newark airport security so quick (post Covid). Security line in terminal C was about 3 minutes. Coming back from Europe on Wednesday terminal B was also empty. 🧐

@AFineBlogger @CentralPark_NYC If a Tesla isn't allowed, an electric motorcycle shouldn't be either.

@JProkap @CentralPark_NYC Eliminate high speed bikes from the Park! Add another lane for runners.

Yesterday was a gorgeous day in @CentralPark_NYC . Pretty typical scene. Two-thirds of the road for 3 bikes, one-third of the road for 30+ runners. Government by special interest.

@HimugLamuh Too late

>what can we do to win back users? >well, we've been getting unanimously cooked for every single thing we've done in the last 54 months so we should just undo as much of that as possible

It's called "John bought some Bitcoin a couple weeks ago."

@BentleyAudrey Reason #47 I rarely apologize

Grazie!

@unremarkable69 @CrispinBurke @RampCapitalLLC Still better than video game bling

@JProkap @CrispinBurke @RampCapitalLLC Cars depreciate immediately and have regular maintenance. While it’s silly to spend so much on a game, cars are an awful investment.

Is this a parody account?

@alt_w_v_g You’d have done better self insuring from the jump

The dishwasher broke My wife said "good thing we have the home warranty" I said nothing I've been paying $62 a month for three years for this moment $2,232 for the peace of mind that when something breaks someone will come to the house and tell me it's not covered I called 47 minutes on hold They sent a technician Arrival window: Tuesday through Thursday between 8am and 5pm My analyst delivers faster than that And he still hasn't fixed the gridlines He showed up Wednesday at 4:47pm Looked at the dishwasher Opened the door Closed the door Touched something underneath Said "not covered" 90 seconds That's faster than my bank lets me prove I'm human I said "what's covered" He said "the motor" I said "what's wrong with it" He said "not the motor" I said "convenient" He said the service fee is $75 I paid a man $75 to open my dishwasher, close my dishwasher, and say two words My analyst could do that And he's not even that good I called the warranty company back 38 minutes on hold Requested the policy 129 pages I read all 129 pages Because that's what I do The coverage section is 34 pages The exclusions section is 58 The business model is right there In the margins Where nobody reads Except me Page 91 says "all mechanical and electrical components essential to appliance function are covered under standard service" Page 104 excludes control panels A control panel is an electrical component essential to appliance function Their own document contradicts itself 13 pages apart I highlighted both Sent them an email Subject line: "Plz fix. Thx." Attached both pages No other context Took them three days to send a technician Took them 4 hours to call me back when I found the loophole Funny how that works They covered the repair Waived the $75 And I canceled the warranty anyway Because a contract that contradicts itself isn't a contract It's a suggestion My wife said "so we're canceling" I said "we're canceling" She said "and the dishwasher" I said "fixed. They're covering it." She said "how" I said "I read the policy" She said "all 129 pages" I said "the exclusions section starts on page 47. The coverage section ends on page 34. There are 13 pages between them where they hoped nobody would look." She looked at me Then she said "you're unbelievable" I said "I just saved us $744 a year and got a free dishwasher repair. I'm not unbelievable. I'm thorough." She looked at the ceiling The dishwasher works now The warranty is canceled And the policy has been read By at least one person Probably the first Make common sense common again Plz fix. Thx. Sent from my iPhone

@awealthofcs Replay should be limited to a minute- if it’s not clear by then, the call stands

My absolute favorite thing about college basketball is watching 3 refs stare at a tiny screen for 10 minutes for a review instead of watching actual basketball Riveting