JON SCHABL

27 years ago my dad called Mr Holland’s Opus “Mr Hobo’s Oboe” and since then I’ve thought about it at least twice a week.

A new #PeaceOfChaos podcast 115 | I don't want to be appropriate w/ @JSchabl podcasts.apple.com/ie/podcast/115…

Does the name @JENGA mean nothing to you animals?!?

If you like unfair rule-changes mid-game then you’ll LOVE playing with my cheating kids.

Friendly reminder: loving The Nightmare Before Christmas is not the same as having a personality.

Well, I just hit the tip of my peen with the shower squeegee so now I have to cut off the whole hog.

I bought the pumpkin and now we’re in love.

Great. Now I’m hard at this pumpkin patch.

The Da Vinci Chode.

(To the tune of the Muppet Babies theme song) 🎶 I’VE GOT SCABIES 🎶

I, for one, am looking forward to our new supreme twitter leader Elon and the hoards of sexy crypto-bot followers that are to come.

It must be such a bummer to cover your Humvee in a matte-camo wrap only to realize it won’t make your daddy love you.

It still blows my mind that Edamame is short for Edward’s Mommy Got It Goin’ On.

Oprah is good at everything except choosing fake doctors.

This’ll show him.

@ryanoflan Everyone who liked this and didn’t rt is a coward.

Joaquin Penis

@LindsaysFace You can’t tell me this isn’t a top-down view of a wig.

I love to tart in public

Maybe kick a rotisserie chicken into the Statue Of David’s peen.

Might jump on this trend and throw roast beef at a statue.

DeSantis both sounds like brand of urinal and looks like someone I would piss on.