Shenanigans

The Vancouver Canucks draft lottery luck since they were last competitive: 2014 | 6.2% chance to climb - lost, picked #6 2016 | 48.4% chance to climb - lost, picked #5 2017 | 69.3% chance to climb - lost, picked #5 2018 | 39.6% chance to climb - lost, picked #7 2019 | 64.8% chance to climb - lost, picked #10 2021 | 11.1% chance to climb - lost, picked #9 2022 | 1.1% chance to climb - lost, picked #15 2023 | 6.3% chance to climb - lost, picked #11 2025 | 1.1% chance to climb - lost, picked #15 2026 | 44.3% chance to win - lost, picked #3 That's a 98.57% chance that they would have won at least one time across the 10 lotteries.

Tim Dillon: “The government has become 24-hour reality TV.” “It’s a game show called: try to not go insane, we dare you.” “You have less money than you did the year before.” “Your kids have bleaker prospects than they did two years ago.” “You’ll have less money and less job security than you do two years from now.” “You’re not gonna be able to help your kids buy a house.” “You’ve lost healthcare.” “All of this is happening at once, and your job is to try to not go insane.” “All of these news stories just float in and out.” “Assassination attempt one and two, no one understood, they’re done.” “Epstein’s done.” “Hypersonic Dark Eagle missiles going to Iran.” “Demons in the Earth.” “Gas is going up.” “Everything just moves on.” “In a couple of weeks, they’re just gonna go: yeah, there’s aliens.” “There’s no focus. There’s no attention span.” “And you’re supposed to sit there, and you passively watch it.” “Try not to lose your mind, we dare you.” @TimJDillon

Tim Dillon is quickly reaching George Carlin territory.

@taj1944 Hello new practice facility

😬😬

One of the great Sedin shifts of all time 🤩 (🎥: CanucksVid | YouTube)

@MikeHalford604 @SadClubCommish Don’t tell that guy in Vernon globalnews.ca/news/11638871/…

cc @SadClubCommish

Maybe we should start by doing a better job licensing these truckers.

Billionaire Anduril Founder @PalmerLuckey on Why He Only Flies Coach: “I don’t fly private and I do fly coach.” “[Anduril] only covers coach travel for employees… because we have so much travel at the company.” “If I’m going to ask my employees to do it, I need to do it too. Even when it’s my own money… otherwise I would literally be out of touch.” “I love the back of the plane, on the window. Nobody bothers you… you can let everybody get off the plane before you do.” “My grandpa was a pilot for United Airlines for over 40 years… I grew up around commercial airlines. To me there is a certain romanticism to mass-market air travel.” “And America did it. We figured out how to make it economically viable, and we build everyone else’s airplanes.”

Okay @Canucks, it's time to finally be honest. What the fuck happened that got J.T. Miller a 10 game leave from the team? Everything has gone to shit since then and Miller, Tocchet and Hughes are all gone. WE WANT ANSWERS.

Exactly this

Fire jim Rutherford and Allvin @Canucks @fr_aquilini our team will be cursed as long as you own it

@GradySas Win lottery - draft mckenna - 2 c solved. Maybe we have a couple other 1st rounders from blowing out the Sherwoods of the team (maybe) - cut lankinens lower body off and attach it to demko - quinn has got to like this.

Is there a world where the #Canucks punt on the season, trade UFAs to bring in assets, land a lottery draft pick and somehow convince Hughes that they have a long-term plan to turn this around? It’s probably pretty slim, but it’s not entirely out of the realm of possibility.

Just a cashew smoking a cig watching Nikita tolopilo #canucks @taj1944

Tim Dillon is hilarious! 😆

Should the #Canucks trade draft picks for Brad Lambert? Sven Baertschi? Adam Clenndenning? Emerson Etem? Andrei Pedan? Markus Granlund? Linden Vey? Philip Larsen? Matthew Highmore? Travis Dermott? Ethan Bear? Jason Studnicka? Vitali Kravtsov? Lukas Reichel?

@lids SICK DO IT

IT'S ALL CAPS DAY! IF YOU REPLY TO THIS IN ALL CAPS, WE MIGHT JUST SEND YOU A FREE HAT!

I can think of a couple.

It's either Jays or Dodgers at this point

🚨 3I ATLAS UPDATE ENHANCED PHOTO RELEASED 😱🛸