RILEY JABOUR!!!

There's a non-insignificant amount of people who think Riley is my last name and Jabour is just a weird sound I make for no reason immediately following my last name.

@nwbroadcasters Thanks!

@Jabourasaurus Well good to hear you there too. You sounded great

@Jabourasaurus hey are you the same Riley I am hearing on Sonic Vancouver?

Usher be like

Sports Guy 1: “who you got in the big game tonight?” Sports Guy 2: “I’m thinking Kansas City” Sports Guy 3: “Yeah Chiefs are gonna take it” Sports Guy 4 but he only gets TSN2: “Lexus is my guy.”

Are we still not supposed to eat more than like one can of tuna a week because of mercury poisoning or did we figure that out

@Wrestling_Brain It had the cadence and delivery of Michael Scott accidentally wandering into a wrestling career.

Biggest issue with what CM Punk said was that it’s his worst promo since returning, can’t go losing the touch now, gonna need every ounce of it coming up here

The real unique access code is the friends we made along the way.

@RedBlacks1899 Who knows? What a mystery! Surely whomever I'm referring to hasn't been contacted by the police multiple times about his continued harassment and made a second Twitter account after his first was blocked! That'd be real clownshoes behaviour!

Dang all those dudes with Fuck Trudeau flags might actually have a shot at living their dream now

How does he move so quickly

(🎵 Loooong time passing 🎵)

When’s the last time you met a Todd? I feel like Todd’s were everywhere in the mid to late 90s. Where have all the Todd’s gone?

Don’t take your dog to the fireworks, stupid.

No one: Airbnb guy: hey mom look how strong I am mom are you looking hey mom are you hey look mom hey I’m so strong mom hey

**extremely Tom DeLonge voice** WHERE ARE YEEWWWWW

@evilplasticfork If you’ve got a spare to fire off my way, I’d super appreciate!

@patdubois fellas is it gay to marry your wife?

TIL i’m super gay

@Dave_Branco Sandalf