Jacob Porter

@The_Ryan_Shull @Cardinals THIS. #STLCards

I think Nolan Arenado would approve the @Cardinals signing Albert Pujols

Bucky fans taking things well. At least they have that co B1G championship to enjoy this Spring.

Forget stopping. Just drop and roll if you catch fire.

@itsjeess96 Kirkland popcorn is the superior popcorn.

Yes, Yes, it is a bit nipply out. I mean nippy out. What am I saying, nipple? Ah, there is a nip in the air, though.

@texas_sized_ash What if I’ve been tested exactly 3 times?

@texas_sized_ash @IowaChill

Not mad, just disappointed

@texas_sized_ash QuickTrip has the superior bathroom.

I just want to become rich enough to be able to afford Honeycrisp apples.

My jaw is jacked from chewing Milk Duds.

@Burnsie25_ Are you referring to The Doobie Brothers or cannabis?

@BarstoolISU Gilman bathroom

You have to be quarantined somewhere on campus for the next 2 months. Which spot do you pick? (Wrong answers only) ⬇️

Has anyone told the citizens of JA BizTown what’s going on?

Go home 2020, you’re on heroin.

Toothpaste hands are the worst.

Greatest drummer of all time. RIP