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There’s a ghost that haunts all of us, most often without us even knowing.
This ghost is a form of self-talk, which we rarely consider as such, but that lays the foundation for how we subconsciously see ourselves and our potential.
The Ghost of the Words You Speak About Yourself.
Have you ever considered the impact of the words you speak about yourself to others and what that means for your self-image and self-confidence?
There are many situations in which you can talk about yourself, like when you interview for a job, go on a first date, or try to sell a product you’ve made. Or even describing what you did this past weekend to a co-worker or recounting memories from college.
All of these are opportunities to direct the narrative of who we are to others and ourselves.
In an interview, you want to speak to your strengths so you will get the job. When you go on a first date, you speak to your interests to see if you can find commonalities.
You have dozens of opportunities to speak about yourself every day, and how you speak about yourself to others is a forgotten form of self-talk.
Anytime you speak about yourself, you’re really speaking to yourself and thus building the narrative you have in your mind about who you are, your strengths and weaknesses, and more.
How you choose to identify yourself in social settings contributes to who you think you are and thus, who you think you’re able to become.
When I used to work a 9 to 5 and introduced myself to new people, I’d never include my job title in how I introduced myself. Because, quite frankly, the vision I had for my future wasn’t working in that industry.
So, instead, I talked about the blog I was writing, going to the gym, and the fact that my ultimate goal in life is to be a mother.
This positive self-talk about the things I was doing and the things I hoped to become helped to build my confidence, subconsciously, in actually achieving them.
Not only in the way you introduce yourself to new people but even down to the comments you make about yourself when others are around is essential to pay attention to.
For the majority of my life, I’ve thought I was terrible at math, especially mental math.
Whenever I was around other people and had to do any sort of mental math, I’d always make a comment, “I suck at mental math; let me pull out my phone real quick for the calculator.”
I’d wait for their affirmation of “Oh, I suck at mental math too, don’t worry” to feel better about myself and the fact that I had to pull out a calculator to do basic multiplication.
This plagued me as an embarrassing downfall until one day, I decided that I wouldn’t say that I was bad at mental math around other people or even think it when I was alone.
From that day forward, I started forcing myself to do basic math in my head*,* and anytime someone else would say they were bad at mental math, I wouldn’t sing in unison that I was bad at math too.
The way I talked about myself and my math abilities to others shifted, and thus, my ability to do math shifted.
Now, I can do mental math pretty fast and rarely pull my phone out to use the calculator. That one decision to stop saying I was bad at mental math, both to myself and to other people, allowed me to change the narrative.
Never underestimate the power of the words you speak about yourself around others.
It’s the self-talk that’s building the subconscious narrative of your self-confidence and, ultimately, your ability to reach your full potential and achieve your dreams.
Today's post is an excerpt from my debut book, Dreamer to Doer:)
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Giving you the ingredients to make your mouth-watering dreams a reality.
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Jade
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