JP

Rock bottom or mile high when you discover actual Steve Urkel has blocked you on twitter?

tomorrow we let the entire queer community decide if we are allowed to return to our headband girlie era. gonna be tragic either way

@kourtneyinhell Nah pls don’t stop

Ok last one for the season

I want it on record that i sincerely believe Andy Reid is a stone-cold killer when it comes to eating box

@megladdd I am so happy and jealous of both yours and the spare rib’s experience tonight 💦

@JamieParx They’re from King BBQ down here in Charleston so fucking good and the crab Rangoon dip from there too 🤤

Diet starts when the muffuletta dip runs out

@lahansen12 @SteveSkojec Source?

@SteveSkojec You are an idiot. It has already been proven, stated that it is military exercises.

OK, I wrote a post on this yesterday, but it's time for a New Jersey drones thread with some of the evidence I've been collecting from afar. If you want to know what's going on, start here. 🧵👇

Incredible night out for the other diners. They got a cute lil testosterone show and a perfect excuse to walk out on a meal before the check came 🤟

When the front desk girl at the walk-in 24-hour spa asks, “Are you okay with a male masseuse? Ours are very good and fun”. See you all on the other side

Still trying to figure out why white claw made a non alcoholic version. I get the sentiment but isn’t that..literally..just.. a..seltzer ???

Suddenly have a cosmic urge to buy nunchucks

Legendary day in Times Square today; there’s a massive hotdog shooting out confetti and also a hop-on-hop-off bus just classically drove through a puddle and splashed some females. Splendid Tuesday

@theballisorange You’re always the best hype man

@JamieParx Proud of you

Sorry i haven’t been consistently tweeting in months, I’ve been getting fingered

@megladdd I hope it was so fucking awesome

Can’t believe my wedding is on 4/20 this year

earth is hands down the most narcissistic planet in the universe

There’s absolutely nothing more sim than watching the solar eclipse with the naked cowboy in the heart of Times Square 💅

✨flips lap top open til Friday ✨

i know Caitlin Clark got a boyfriend but i just know she could whip the hell out of a Subaru Outback

Sorry i can’t make it to that dinner tonight i have to go home and sit on my couch and try out this new ear wax removal device that i just got by scamming a bodega cashier into letting me have it for $6.99 💅

@k_ourtney Royalty and loyalty, baby

Im getting new followers so I just want to say to everyone hi! and yes I have one link in bio yes I'm married yes happily yes he's on twitter no I don't sell content here yes you can send me money you don't have to ask first no I really won't sell content on here pls stop asking