Jared

@llamadrew You’re welcome

i’m gonna start keeping a big mirror in my car so that when cars with those godforsaken led headlights drive behind me I can blind them in return

@llamadrew I think so. Not showing signs of a major concussion so that’s nice, but oh boy I’ve got a nice lump

turns out that even if it only falls from a couple feet above you, getting hit in the forehead with a brick still hurts pretty bad

@llamadrew Now this is commitment to the bit that deserves respect

Where are you people storing all these 12ft skeletons the rest of the year?

@AndyHjortshoj loofahs and whatnot dangling off its ribcage. its hand stretched out to hold during long showers

@AndyHjortshoj I'm taking this to mean that you have a 12ft skeleton tucked away in your bathroom for 11 months out of the year

@pattycrawdaddy can i keep my job or am i fired too? just wanna know before i set my alarm clock for tomorrow

@danielleradford @dropout

Hey! So I see a bunch of y’all want to watch @dropout but can’t do the fee so like, comment literally anything on this post before noon est on 9/29/23 and I’ll randomly choose someone to gift a three month sub

@joshschneider @ChicagoBears @taylorswift13 Am I to believe that Her Majesty Taylor Swift does not have the user name @ TaylorSwift? How? Why? I have to assume it's intentional

Hey @ChicagoBears don’t embarrass the whole city in front of mom (@taylorswift13)

@TheBeverage 1. Use the name 2. Players irrevocably latch onto the character 3. NPC retroactively becomes vital to the campaign 4. Profit?

I have a list of NPC names I think are too good to use for random characters but I end up just never using them.

Aaaaaand a movie

@pattycrawdaddy WE’RE BACK BABYYYYY!!!

@kerstynleigh On the one hand, those are definitely online orders... but on the other hand, it is Pride month... so who can say it's not your God given right to claim them as you see fit?

Friends, I started saying “yeehaw” and “kachow” as a fun little joke for myself and now I cannot stop. What do I do?

I think when people ask me small talk questions about my life I’m just going to start telling them about what’s going on in my dnd game as if it were my real life & see if they notice

Art by Greb Comics @GrebComics

just pulled a muscle shaking with excitement

@motherfolkmusic I'll do it, but my car doesn't have enough seats so someone's gonna have to hold on real tight to the back bumper and skate behind us

we’ll play more shows but one of you has to pick us up and drop us off. my mom is busy