Jason Horton

People are so fake how can you love your newborn baby when you met it like 2 minutes ago and don't know anything about it

@kimpetras Here for the freak out

alone TONIGHT !!! drop a 💗 if you’re freaking out kimpetras.lnk.to/presave

Maybe the blue check mark I lost is the friends I made along the way

I have two special needs cats they needs me to feed them whenever they want and they needs me to leave them alone the rest of the time

🎵 Before I leave brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack and rinse with Listerine Total Care (Zero Alcohol) 🎵

@A24 Yes please now please

Hollywood, here she comes. #MaXXXine

Read an article about someone who only had $1000 in the bank when they won the lottery and I’m like hold up how’d they get the $1000 tell me more

@catatonicyouths Toyotathon take note

no yeah we actually do need 7 guitarists for this

@michaelianblack Black 'n Breu Tour 2023

FINALLY: me and Jim Breuer on the same weekend! Texas, come see me Friday 2/10!

@Dion78 @betterthanezra completely underrated tweet

Ezra is ok, but I know someone better. @betterthanezra

How often are you supposed to replace a Brita filter once every 5 or 85 years I forget

@thespecials Not Too Much but definitely Too Young

It is with great sadness that we announce the passing, following a brief illness, of Terry, our beautiful friend, brother and one of the most brilliant singers, songwriters and lyricists this country has ever produced. (1/4)

@myspacetom @elonmusk Tom you were on my top 8 but I wasn’t on yours what gives

@elonmusk Depends who you get to run it ! 🤔

Should I step down as head of Twitter? I will abide by the results of this poll.

Get into the Christmas spirit for the last time

Drew Barrymore impersonators

@krisoutsold @Spotify No, but also, not no?

Want to be the first to know when #SpotifyWrapped is here? ❤️ this tweet and we'll remind you!

It should be Cyber Cyunday instead of Cyber Monday is it too late to change it

I helped an old lady cross the street then realized I’m old so it was just a lady

@Ticketmaster Everyone had to understand Ticketmaster is a new upstart they are still working out the kinks give them a chance

Due to extraordinarily high demands on ticketing systems and insufficient remaining ticket inventory to meet that demand, tomorrow's public on-sale for Taylor Swift | The Eras Tour has been cancelled.

I’m starting to think Ticketmaster is in it for the money and not the art