Jay

Dave Portnoy's One Bite Pizza Reviews are full of *secret, esoteric* messaging about rigged NBA games, NFL games, horse racing, sports outcomes. Dave Portnoy likes to call pizzas floppy. Then, mysteriously, there's a flop or an injury at a big game!😲 "How's the pizza's undercarriage?" "Check the undercarriage. Oh look, I'm seeing a flop." "Wow, that parm packs a punch! The parm hit me with a 1-2 punch!" He doesn't do this with all of his One Bite reviews. Some of his reviews are under a 7 for the obviously bad places or over a 9 for the obviously good places but most are 7.-something or 8.-something. Why is that? It's all Kabbalah. 7 is perfection in the physical world 8 is simply divine Why would you place a sports bet if you don't know The Rules and everything is rigged with Kabbalah? One Bite Everybody Knows the Rules Dave Portnoy got into a real argument with a small business owner in a Star Wars shirt while Dave Portnoy was wearing a shirt about the pyramids in Egypt where the people of Moses were enslaved by Pharaoh. 🤣 I mean...for crying out loud. The small business owner said he did not appreciate what Dave Portnoy does to small businesses. Then, after Dave Portnoy left, the small business owner hung up "The Gospel" in the window of his business and he made sure to get his counter-meme about his "The Gospel" sign on the news. Why is this? That's because The Gospel is the part of the New Testament about Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ is not Kabbalah. What? Don't be mad at me. Don't even try it. Don't be mad at me. I didn't do any of this. I don't make The Rules. I know The Rules. These are easy The Rules. The Rules get harder and more difficult and more combinatorial the more you get away from this and into stocks and bonds and cryptography. -You Take One Bite -Then you Watch One Bite Pizza to See the Flops, the Parm, the Numerology, Other Memes Thrown In -Then You Place Your Bets Based on the Secret, Esoteric Memes from Dave Portnoy -Everybody Knows the Rules -Literally Everybody Knows the Rules What, you don't know The Rules? Are you serious? If you want to place sports bets you have to know The Rules. Michael Lewis from The Big Short, Moneyball, Liar's Poker is doing a podcast series about sports betting right now. It's called Against the Rules and it's about the dangers of sports betting. One Bite Everybody Knows the Rules Michael Lewis? Now Against the Rules, Apparently, According to His Podcast People commit suicide because they take One Bite, Lose Everything, Because They Didn't Know the Rules One Bite Of the Apple Everybody Knows the Rules It's so bad they brought goats to Foxborough Stadium a few years ago and Tom Brady became the GOAT and then GOAT officially became the meme that means "good" not "bad" in sports lingo. "Goat" used to be bad in sports. Now, thanks to Robert Kraft and Kabbalah, GOAT means good. These are The Rules. What, you didn't know all this? Then why on Earth are you sports gambling? Do not even start with me. One Bite Everybody Knows the Rules Literally Everybody What? You didn't know The Rules? This is how sports gambling works. The NBA is rigged with Kabbalah. So is the NFL. So is horse race gambling. One Bite Everybody Knows the Rules