OMGisthatJKL? / ジェイケイエル

I apologize, but I'm going to dip into some dating discourse. I never talk about "the apps," but after years of seeing men complain about how easy it is for women to get "matches," and women complain about how hard it is to find a man who will commit, I think they're both describing the same problem from opposite ends. I've been thinking about this for months. men who are chronically single and women who never are—what do they have in common? I think the crux is: scarcity mindset leads to scarcely compatible pairings. to speak for myself, I've found it hard to stay single, and frequently dated men who'd never been in a relationship before. I didn't intentionally seek out inexperienced men, but over and over again I found myself in the role of "first girlfriend." hmmm! everyone in this pool of desperation has such low self-esteem that they will settle for almost anything. the chronically single man's self-worth has been eroded by years of rejection or feeling invisible. the never single woman's self-worth is defined by being chosen, doesn't matter by whom. the pairings look complementary from the inside: - his inexperience feels like a blank slate to her—she will be the patient one, the one who can teach him to love her the way she's always wanted, without comparison. - her willingness to date him feels like a lifeboat to him—he doesn't ask himself whether he wants her back, he just feels relieved. both are misreading desperation as devotion, not entering the relationship from a place of choice. the never-single woman thinks this time it'll be different. her experience is an asset, she's done so much inner work, now she has the tools to make this relationship succeed. but experience picking at the same wound is not the same thing as growth. the always-single man thinks this might be his only chance so he has to take it. he is overwhelmed by the relationship—the intimacy, the expectations, everything—and he always wonders if it's actually right. he has little if nothing to compare it to. so he stays, but never fully commits. this is how you get those long, drawn-out "dating" relationships where the woman is asking for commitment and progress and the man "isn't sure." they're together out of mutual scarcity and fear—she's terrified of sunk cost, he's terrified of being trapped. she stays because leaving means admitting she wasted years, again. he stays because he doesn't believe anything better exists for him. neither stays because the relationship is actually good. and in modern dating, it's normal to live together for years before you're "sure." it's normal because many people have entered lukewarm relationships and are scared to leave because they don't want to be alone. we hear countless stories of 27-35-year-olds in ambivalent 4+ year relationships. then we apply theories like "insecure attachment" to the people in those relationships, never considering that those relationships may actually be legitimately insecure. two sides of the same coin. scarcity mindset on both sides.

I get that they have to push the company narrative to some extent, but having the broadcasters rave about great plate discipline after each of these ABs is... interesting. 2 total pitches in the zone, neither swung at. Two swings out of the zone. The rest obvious balls 🤷‍♂️

Little things that are not so little ?

A relationship is a very long conversation. Don’t date people you don’t like talking to.

at some point I gained the power to tell chinese, japanese, and koreans apart. I’m not even sure how I do it, but I can

save a horse 🐎

u don’t! hope that helps

This is sort of embarrassing, but how do single people meet their physical contact needs?

Louisville coach screaming in MSU player’s face after a turnover. Loser activity from a grown man.