jenna, it's my name

what do you call it when your boring mate Tam is flogging tickets to win his old mini #UniversityChallenge

@boohoo I made an order and paid next day delivery on Wednesday. Whenever I use the virtual assistant it just says to wait another 2 days, every day. I need it by Friday, please help

@jzux People who call ketchup "red sauce" are hideously annoying and need to get a grip

what is your most benign unpopular opinion? i don’t mean like “the earth is flat” type of unpopular opinion, i mean like “I think golden retrievers are annoying” unpopular opinion

THREAD: Here's a handy list of Tory MPs who said Boris Johnson had to go in July and are now saying he should be PM. It's been quite the journey for some...

@fionayamamoto @Kelly_Jackson88 Are you suggesting we give the starving and homeless steamed piss?

This Jack Monroe stuff is wild, like how are you gonna take Patreon money off 100s of people for two years for doing NOTHING? Someone pay me for doing nothing, I’m really good at it 👍🏻

Maybe I'm not mentally ill Maybe I'm just fucking right

@AJJtheBand Masks are definitely needing a resurgence. I was unwell for 5/6 days before I tested positive this week and a few are saying the same I hope a speedy recovery, it fuckin' sucks. Also love u guys

From today on we will be quarantining and testing diligently until we are covid clear. Future shows are subject to change, though we hope we don’t have to cancel any more than the one tonight. This is a good time to encourage you to mask up at shows.

Hi gang, it is with great sadness that we are writing to inform you that one of our touring party has tested positive for covid-19 and that our show in Indy tonight at the Deluxe with Open Mike Eagle is canceled.

@sozijlt @LindaBu17861777 @PortlandRose143 @KidRock Ye

Oh, and by the way…. I just got off the phone with our 45th President (hopefully 47th) and he expressed how proud of me he was over “We The People” being the #1 song on Itunes! Suck on that you trolls, critics and haters! Continued… (1/2) smarturl.it/KR-WeThePeople

@LindaBu17861777 @PortlandRose143 @KidRock Ur old

@PortlandRose143 @KidRock That's right

@KidRock "Narcissist gladly revels in my pandering" isn't exactly the own you seem to think it is

RIP Meatloaf. Once a Poolie, always a Poolie. #Hartlepool @Official_HUFC

@indigobrett @mmm_machiavelli @h3h3productions Life isn't comparable You can still feel shit no matter what your circumstances are

@mmm_machiavelli @h3h3productions I know right...like oh no!!! Is your super popular YouTube career stressing you out? I'm sorry big guy...let me know when real life problems take everything from you. Not that I wish it on anyone but you get my point

As per, I put all my eggs in one basket Therapist won't take me on because I'm too complex apparently Just want some fuckin help, can't even pay for it Just absolutely done in at this point

I've been awake since 6am and I am already so exhausted I don't matter, and that is really annoying

Bought a secret santa gift to find out I'm not allowed in secret santa Because I'm off, sick, because my brain is somewhere between delusion and reality but I still put the fuckin effort in I don't exist, apparently

@Shuttsapalooza I know it's horrible but his windy content is getting me by

@JennethBaroldos ✊✊✊

When are you all going to realise this weather is just the government trying to force everyone inside for another lockdown without taking any responsibility themselves? Wake up, go have that picnic, get on the upside down trampoline, build a sandcastle, it ain’t real, lockclowns!

The best psychotherapist option can't even spell my name Still giving her a chance cause I wanna get fucking better

As a person with no interests I feel personally victimised