Jeremy Butterfield

#TheArchers Happy Easter Day, everyone! I can't tweetalong because Twitter has somehow fallen off my phone and won't download again. Enjoy the omnibus!

Thanks to the wonderful @tomgauld!

#desperation Has anyone ever had Twitter support to sort out a problem? When I contact them I get what must be an automatic email saying they'll see I'm trying to log in and they'll 'continue to help', then radio silence. Any positive experiences will keep me trying.

Afternoon everyone. Some delightful individual hacked my account and X have permanently suspended it, thanks a lot. I’ve made some good friends on here and want to catch up, so if this could be retweeted loads, I’d really appreciate it, thanks a lot 😊😊

@sharrond62 Almost as annoying is this formerly US use of 'alternate' to mean 'alternative'.

I’m so fed up of this **** can you imagine the up roar if itv auditioned for a famous trans person to be played by a non trans person, or a famous trans identifying person being promoted by itv as not trans after all! Stop watching this inaccurate rubbish. It’s as if a strong woman Couldn’t actually be a woman, but must be a man, to be so successful! More misogyny, sick of it.

Nothing to see here… just enjoying a well deserved break. #Hornby @KitKat

It’s AGM for the Herons on the grand canal!

#beingold When prices seem exorbitant because you don't go out very often...£52 for a gallery seat for the RSC in York!!...but then again, it could be literally a once in a lifetime experience. (I mean I've seen them at Stratford, but not in York.)

Stanley Spencer recorded in his 1938 Desk Diary that he began 'Magnolias,' in March of that year. On 5th April 1938, he wrote to his dealer Dudley Tooth saying that the painting was 'as good as anything I have done.'

@Springborn21 That's one of our rules when house-hunting: no open-plan kitchen/living room. What an abomination. Whose idea was it? Especially given how often I cook with garlic: the couches would soon be minging.

Dear builders/renovators, I don’t want open plan kitchen/living. I want to bang & crash my drawers & pans, sing along with radio & shout at the news to my hearts content. Not cook in reverential silence because someone else is watching Pointless in the same ‘space’ #HouseHunting

Sad night last night but today is a brighter day. The ewe (female sheep) on the left lambed a stillborn and we were unable to resuscitate it. She cried most of the night longing for her lamb after we removed it. The ewe on the right lambed twins last week, though they were very small. It seems that today she has given one of her twins to the grieving mother to raise as her own. This is a photo of them together with their new children.

The gods are smiling on me: the fourth month in a row I've had a win on the Premium Bonds! And then, how disappointed will I be when I don't win? How would the Ancients have philosophised that?

At school we were asked to choose the greatest ruler from history. I opted for The Helix 30cm Shatterproof.

Which is why Boris Johnson said 'bish, bash, bosh.'

Brilliant ad!

@SimonLeggX @jdpoc Yes, that's a ridiculous, toe-curling amount.

@jdpoc As an aside, I eat Marmite but does anyone else think that photos show far too much Marmite being put on bread / toast?

THAT'S IT. THE UK HAS COLLAPSED. WE'RE DOOMED. Unilever has just sold the 124-year-old brand #Marmite ... to an American company.