Weenie Hut Jr's 🌭🌟🌈

Real picture of me finding out I need to fix my blood sugar in 2024

first of all, dan vladar should actually be allowed to kill people and not punished for it so jot that down

Dog is limping, place your bets on how many hours of sleep Sam and I are about to lose to anxiety

I'm not joking: I find it so charming when people bring in their dead rodents for us to cremate. Pet rats, guinea pigs, rabbits. They were loved. And now they're dead and their owners are so casual about it because rodents have shit lifespans so they're used to it Proper send off

(IG: timgough) has done it again 🧡

Hearing Madd call Scott and Kip the old guys is so special she's so Ilya Rozanov coded

Only get to spend time with Madd for one day And of course I make her watch all of Heated Rivalry Don't worry: she managed to connect it to Adam Scott

I just sneezed and bit my tongue this is the worst day of my life

Things my father texts me

When your brother has a rich father in law and he needs to get rid of expensive appliances GUESS WHO'S GETTING A ROOMBAAAA

My thoughts on the Ted Lasso season 4 teaser: Absolutely DISGUSTING lack of Trent Crimm

If monster theory states that a monster is someone with extraordinary ability that engages in cultural taboo then Twilight vampires are monsters for engaging in the Mormon cultural taboo of pre-marital kissing

i fear i have become more powerful

Flyers knocked the Penguins out of the playoffs, I had a free cookie on my Panera account, AND my boss ordered Insomnia cookies for everyone I'm God's favorite

Like Dan Vladar blocked OVER 40 shots on goal I fear it IS that serious

AND NONE FOR SIDNEY CROSBY

LET'S GO FLYERS LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOOO

We all fight for human rights in Palestine.

>experiencing bad cramps >Camp out on couch with heating pad >New baby cat curls up on my chest and starts purring >Fucking CRY because the last time I was in this position, it was Dini curled up and purring on my chest

Me texting my mom to see if she'll buy me a metric fuck ton of Mac and cheese. For my agonies.

All this to say, due to Circumstances Beyond My Control, I drove around for an hour trying to get out of Philly before giving up and getting home in 15 minutes

Me: "Oh boy, I can't wait to go to the circus! It's too bad I'll have to miss the beginning of game four..." The Spirit of Philadelphia: "BITCH YOU THOUGHT SIT YOUR ASS DOWN YOU'RE WATCHING THIS GAME"