Jess

nothing worse than a failed nap attempt and running out of nap time

taking an everything shower

Slot machines when you win .75 cents:

Opening your Teams and Outlook after the 4 day bank holiday

at the antique store touching a bunch of stuff then rubbing my eyes

being on twitter before Elon bought it

going through tl on april fools as a very gullible person

duuuude i led my horse to water and this motherfucker will notttt drink 🤦‍♀️

PMDD has you googling shit that gives you a hotline before the results

Soon it will be summer and I will be stoned out of my mind at the beach and I will have inner peace again

Charlie Kirk’s rotting corpse ziplining across the stage at the TPUSA half time show

they should have an uber option where you’re allowed to vape in the car as long as the driver vapes also

Wearing platform Uggs and yoga pants makes me feel like a beautiful Clydesdale horse

Me at the bar when my friends r talking to someone I don’t know

as a lifelong stoner, i feel betrayed that Snoop is maga.

why can’t gay people ever just say they like something

Me and this big dick just chilling on the couch lol hope nobody comes down the chimney that would be random

There’s no better feeling than coming home and immediately changing into your Adam Sandler fit

i love the sleeping next 2 cars concept in case i really wanna end it all one night 💯