gonnastickmy

Back on Twitter because a black man told me to. #daddyissues

@TheKatieJung I don't see it. :( maybe the Molly's have it?

@TheKatieJung yeah where is it?

@TheKatieJung yeah what is it? Just charged my phone.

In honor of my last day of classes as an undergrad I went commando in basketball shorts. Yep that's my dick. #UW #grad #dick

What If everyone on earth had a dick? Talk about feminism.

Guess how many people just started and quit there New Years resolution today. #NationalRunningDay

"Jesse why does your soda say must be 21 or above on it? Don't ask, here's a donut kid." #nannylife #nannyprobs #kombucha

I hope you deleted every message I have ever sent you, so you have no reminder of how I felt for you.

I am a single parent. My kids name. Shame. His friend. Oreos.

I just made a scathing review of you on Yelp. #bescared

Do I look douchey..... Enough?

And I just threw up.

Just stayed an extra 15 minutes at #Starbucks because this pregnant lady looked like she was gonna pop. I wanted to be a hero.

I woke up this morning with my purse on. I don't have a purse.

Reverse you're welcome.

When I grow up I was to be a slutty lesbian.

You had me at "Ich bin ein einfache amerikanische Jung auf der suche nach einer guten Zeit". #german #truth

I have successfully eaten three quesadillas today.

My pandora station was set to 'sex music'. Way to set the mood Jesse.