Jessica Wilson

Good morning from me and the shirtless man in front of me on the train

I thing I get why some people are against this app

SHIT WAS AMAZING

"you still going out tonight?" me:

@a_w_dang Already bought a house so maybe we will just go on the honeymoon instead

Yes hello how do people afford to get married??????????????

@dscan Alright I can’t blame you for the price but STRAWBERRY??????

@dscan What kind

It’s okay if i’m the only one who sees the resemblance

@karenknoblock Karen I love you but I will roundhouse your ass for that comment

@Jessica_tttt 🤮

Hey @katesonaplane

Ways to piss me off at 8 am - start talking to me the SECOND I walk into work and I haven’t even taken my coat off yet.

@katesonaplane I just want a banana split cold brew

@dscan Happy birthday!!!!!!

One of these things is not like the other

Remember that time near the McDonald’s on 45 when some guy in the car in front of us opened his door and started projectile vomiting and we screamed @katesonaplane

Lmao

(completely overwhelmed) will do!