Jesus Fucking Chris† retweetledi
Jesus Fucking Chris†
433 posts
Jesus Fucking Chris†
@JesusFucking
go ahead, take my name in vain: @JesusFucking Christ!
(i'm fuckin' everywhere) Katılım Mayıs 2008
1K Takip Edilen1K Takipçiler
that'll never fuckin' catch on.
God@TheTweetOfGod
One day someone should start a religion based on the teachings of Jesus Christ.
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Today! If you don’t accept his son, Jesus Christ immediately, he’s going to ghost you at those gates. It’ll be like the worst blind date in the history of ever!”
#overheard
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Holy Ghosting:
“God wants you to know that you’ve got an appointment at the gates of heaven. But he won’t let you keep that appointment if you don’t accept his son into your heart and into your body. Right now.
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My followers are fucking hilarious.
Jordan@Jonesin4Jordan
@abbyy_giirl Christians are really trying to convince us that the God who murdered Bathsheba's newborn, killed all the first born sons of Egypt, sent bears to murder little children, commanded Joshua to murder all the children in Jericho, now suddenly cares about “unborn babies.”
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Jesus Fucking Chris† retweetledi
Q: What are you looking for in a church?
A: Fascist, but with a more ancient vibe than Born Again.
Q: So, like Hitler, but with a Pope?
A: Where do I sign up?
NPR.org/2022/05/10/109…
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Jesus Fucking Chris† retweetledi
Spiritual ppl use religion to become better people.
Fundamentalists use religion to pretend they're better people.
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@B52Malmet @UROCKlive1 “Team Boebert JFC”
As in “Jesus F*cking Christ” because NFW I’m throwing $11,600 at a boebert, am I right, @JesusFucking ?
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Why does Lauren Boebert want to annihilate a threatened species? Follow the money
"Her behavior is the epitome of corruption."
rawstory.com/boebert-grouse/
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Jesus Fucking Chris† retweetledi
Before there was air through which any sound could carry, before there was any heaven above the air, nor any earth below it, the primordial moo was unheard and unseen, known only in the souls of unborn men.
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Jesus Fucking Chris† retweetledi
CTHULHU:
JESUS: No wait, check this out. Look. It's just a small basket of fishes, right? Now, abracadabra ... it's an infinite supply of fish. See? How you gonna sleep tonight, big guy?
CTHULHU:
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Jesus Fucking Chris† retweetledi
Secular Confectionist:
"Absent belief in any deity, one faithfully observing all holidays involving baked goods or candy."
#godless #observance #overheard
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@JoaoSilverstein Quantum yeast are really not something we should fuck with.
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@JoaoSilverstein You should see what happens when you use a quantum anomaly as your sourdough starter.
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@JoaoSilverstein Pretty sure I was tripping, at the time.
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@JoaoSilverstein There's kind of a story about that in one of those old books about me.
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