JewThings

@ShaneLowryGolf OUCH

I need Rose and McIlroy to both have phenomenal days #TheMasters

I’m this old

Happy Irish Christmas to all who celebrate

Everyone pretends they’re Irish on St. Patty’s Day, Hispanic on Cinco de Mayo, yet no one wants to be Jewish on Yom Kippur.

Do you know a “Rachel Schwartz”, or were your parent’s friends exciting?

Now???

Just a latke stuck with you mushy potatoes…

Does this exist? A Baaaad-cast (podcast 🐐) where the hosts bring on the GOATs in their respective areas. I’m sure it exists, I just love the name

As a tennis player, I take back my years of negative thoughts and opinions about pickleball. I played for the first time this weekend and it turns out I’m old. It was wonderful.

Which is worse?

New leaked Drake video

Stay safe, family.

If anyone else asks why I smell so good, I’m gonna have to be honest and tell them it’s @PooPourri

“THE RUMORS OF MY PEOPLE ARE TRUE” -@jtrain56

It’s silly that sweatpants aren’t standard attire for work. I sweat the most when I’m working my hardest. ITS RIGHT THERE IN THE MAME!

First Drink: Baruch atah, Adonai Eloheinu, Melech Haolam, borei p'ri hagafen. Fifth Drink: Barack attack, I dunno Elaine Ew, Melancholy Syndrome, hooray please my coffin. @ASAP_ROFFE #CHUGsameach

CHUG Sameach 🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷 ………or whatever it is

What’s a fun way of implying you’re Jewish without saying you’re Jewish?

My order is simple. I stick with the basics. Everything bagel. Lox. Guilt.