Joel Strassman

@Super70sSports 🎵Fly Eagles Fly🎵 philadelphiaeagles.com/video/fly-eagl…

Randall Cunningham is the best quarterback in Philadelphia Eagles history and that’s a hill I’ll die on.

@MattWoo09741424 @Super70sSports Sounds like that gives Matt some wood.

@Super70sSports I'm always down for some Nice vs Brest in French football

I was always down for some Rough Riders versus Roughriders action.

@Super70sSports Among couples where one's the pitcher and one's the catcher, gotta ask the catcher: Which is better, length or girth?

It was always an awkward moment when someone needed the red bat. “Yeah, Billy, you can play but you gotta use the red bat.” “But I wanna use the yellow bat like everybody else.” “Motherfucker, you went 0-for-46 yesterday. The yellow bat is no longer an option for you.”

@Super70sSports I'll take the players that win their teams the championships over the team's GOATs any day. Sometimes, but not always, they are the same.

@Super70sSports Football teams or condom variations?

@MolecularLab_ Doesn't say A can't have 2 different values.

99% can't solve this mentally.🥶🥶🥶

@Super70sSports "Hanging up?" Why would anyone mount an iPhone on the wall? BTW, where's the "end call" button on that phone?

One thing that’s been lost culturally is the satisfaction of hanging up on someone. You’d slam this fucker down and if you were mad enough you might even get a little “ding” from the ringer. Trust me when I say it felt fucking great.

Name an album that has nothing but above-average songs. One “skip” track and you’re disqualified. I’ll start:

@Super70sSports Do those 2 floatation (or is it "flotation"?) devices come with the boat?

Getting a boat in one of the Showcases was peak 1988 television entertainment and your deserved reward for having the faith to hang in there through 55 minutes of terrible guesses about the price of everything.

@Super70sSports Gonna need them 2 over-sized bumpers to go with the boat.

@RedsSuffering @Super70sSports Also the lead singer on Spirit's "I Got a Line on You."

@Super70sSports With Jay “Thunder Island” on piano…Jay also wrote the theme song to The Office…

If Life’s Been Good comes on the radio and you change the station, I’m just going to assume you hate everything that’s awesome.

Where’s this generation’s glorious hornsmith to delight us all as this sweet bastard once did?

@Super70sSports These ladies backed up Elvis pretty, pretty well.

Michael McDonald is the GOAT backup vocalist and that’s a hill I’ll die on. He’d come off the bench and hang up triple-doubles on other people’s records. Legendary.

@Super70sSports This day? More like every day.

Today in 1976, Wooderson gets high as a kite and says a bunch of weird stuff to high school girls.

@Super70sSports Dodgeball? This was my shop class.

Close your eyes and you will hear the sound of natural selection …

@Super70sSports Still less lame than my lunchbox of shame

Nothing enhances your musical street cred like a Maurice Gibb lunch box. “But, Dad, I wanted a Barry lunch box!” “Well, why don’t you wipe those tears off your cheeks so we can discuss the value this sweet bastard multi-instrumentalist brings to the table?”

@Super70sSports His 1980 stats as a reliever in 10 games were pretty, pretty good too.

In 1981, Fernando Valenzuela won Rookie of the Year, the Cy Young Award, a Silver Slugger, and the World Series. And if you remember it, you know it was even more glorious than it sounds.

When I was a college student, I once addressed a professor as “Mister” and he condescendingly tut-tutted me and said “Doctor.” Hey, listen, unless you can save someone’s life or you’re Julius Erving, you can settle the fuck down with that energy.

@Super70sSports This guy had only a master's degree. I respect his doctorhood.