Jonathan Connecticut 6’7” IQ 179

@StromboliSavant #NotMyShooter

Holy shit.

What’s the deal with gay people??? Knock it off!!

LADIES: please make sure to check in with your finance bros today… it’s going to be a tough next 4 years if you have IB / PE in your Hinge bio

When she hawk and my tuah 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Blessed with a twink face, cursed with twink legs

Keeping all the girls on my roster apart from each other at the function to prevent syncing

Can you really be gay forever

Each episode of Entourage that a girl has watched is 5 bodies

Last night we let the women talk (never again)

Sir, a second Busch Light has crossed the blood-brain barrier:

Executing a “No knock warrant” on my wife’s pussy tonight

@StromboliSavant This is one of your best

@StromboliSavant Nice to know I’m only one degree of separation from Chris Hansen

@StromboliSavant Lil Huddy meal had me downloading Grindr

The only time I’ve ever moaned while eating was when I got the Saweetie meal from McDonalds after a 12 hour shift in a lab violently hungover. I’ve been building the courage to admit this for years

🚩s in women: 🚩Has a dog 🚩Has an alarm system 🚩Complicated locking mechanism on back door 🚩Motion sensors around perimeter of house

if i were a girl i'd be pregnant A LOT

That look your cousin gives you when you’re 10 minutes into cousin and chill

I am being told by multiple sources that I need to download Tinder

Hinge needs a filter for girls with zero self esteem

I have been hemorrhaging instagram followers lately And for that I will be killing myself