johnsantocomedian
18 posts
johnsantocomedian
@johnsantocomedy
Comedian and Celebrity Impressionist
Katılım Mart 2022
160 Takip Edilen15 Takipçiler
Lose all this to rescue 1 pilot and call it your greatest military success of all time.
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How could the first woman to fly to the Moon not be named Alice. 😂
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Pam Bondi Confirms Ark Of The Covenant Sitting On Her Desk Waiting To Be Reviewed buff.ly/CJrEh1C
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@KatTimpf Glad you’re back! Wishing you the best with your health and your new gig as a mom.
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I want to sincerely thank everyone who has shown me kindness during these past few tumultuous and at times extraordinarily difficult months of my life, especially if I’m someone you disagree with sometimes. It means a lot and I just want to say thank you. K cya 😎
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An Unconventional Birth Announcement
Last week, I welcomed my first child into the world. About fifteen hours before I went into labor, I was diagnosed with breast cancer.
Now, before you worry, my doctor says it’s Stage 0 and is confident that it almost certainly hasn’t spread. Or, as I’ve explained to the few people I’ve managed to tell about it so far: Don’t freak out. It’s just, like, a LITTLE bit of cancer.
Still, it was not a chill day. I mean, to say the least! I woke up more-than-a-week-past-due pregnant, completely consumed by doing everything I could to get the baby out. By the middle of the afternoon, I was waddling around from appointment to appointment, talking about how to get my cancer out. I sat and listened as they told me that the best course of action would likely be a double mastectomy as soon as possible. I asked all the questions I could, including if I could get a copy of my tumor ultrasound to put on the fridge next to the ultrasound of my baby. Finally, by the middle of the night, I was crawling around on the floor of my apartment in spontaneous labor, before heading to the hospital to meet my baby, whom I’d learn at the time of birth was a son.
The good news? People who work at hospitals make excellent audiences for dark humor -- and, as someone whose first book was about the power of jokes to get through traumatic situations, there was really no better place for me to be. Just minutes after my boy was born, I was talking with the nurses about what a birth announcement in my situation might look like.
Should I go with “Mom and baby are doing well, except maybe for mom’s cancer, and then maybe the baby after breastfeeding is stunted by her double mastectomy,” and then shut off my phone for a week?
Anyway! These next three months of maternity leave are going to look a lot different than I’d anticipated, and I’m still getting used to my new reality. Still, as I navigate new motherhood (and new cancer) I’m learning to celebrate everything I can. I’m lucky that we found the cancer so early; I’m lucky to be my son’s mom. I mean, I know I’m biased, but the little dude absolutely rules -- and not just because he might have saved my life.
Thank you all for your support, laughter, and love as I embrace this wildly unexpected chapter. Here’s to resilience, to miracles in the midst of chaos, and to finding humor and hope even on the toughest days.
Kat
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@AnthonyDiComo Retire number 5 in 2025. Congrats David!
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NEWS: The Mets are planning to retire David Wright's No. 5 and induct him into their team Hall of Fame before a July 19 game at Citi Field, per sources.
Full details:
mlb.com/news/david-wri…
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@FanaticLurker @lorigeishecker @Mark_R_Mitchell Thank you. Too many pollsters struggle with context and telling the story.
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@lorigeishecker @Mark_R_Mitchell Giving these raw numbers with no context is not cool.
Historically, Democrats vote early and Republicans vote on Election Day.
With a 19% lead in early voting, Harris is actually behind where Democrats have been historically.
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UH OH:
Harris leads by 19% among PA voters who say they've already voted.
She trails all other voters by double digits.
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Check out my new Sopranos Social Media video.
m.youtube.com/watch?v=6983oy…
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New Sopranos Video Short, my impressions of Silvio, Paulie, and Bobby Bacala talking about Punxsutawney Phil. 😂
youtu.be/qnbrTq4xvkM?si…
YouTube
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@IngrahamAngle How’d you get yourself shot down Colonel?
It was 5 to 1, I got 4.
WOLVERINES!
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Nashville, we're coming LIVE! Join me tomorrow at Studio A, Opry House for an unforgettable 'Ingraham Angle' experience 🎙️📺. Get your tickets online now and let's make it a night to remember! #IngrahamLive #OpryHouse 🎟️ opry.com/show/2023-11-1…
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@Mets @nyphospital Oh my God, they finally really did it. They put ads on MLB jerseys. YOU MANIACS! 😂
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Brandon Nimmo should be exempt from the pitch clock since he will make up the time running to first on a walk. 😂
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@pnjaban @IngrahamAngle It is a nice sweater and the color matched Laura’s jacket.
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Thank you @IngrahamAngle for having me on tonight and thank you for the sweater compliment!
Government performance is at an all time low, Americans are suffering, seeking change! FBI should focus more on the Biden family instead of distractions like searching Pence’s home.
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