Johnny Crash

@NewTwistedOwl @samstein Like bad suits and bad interior design, you can always tell when the client has too much input.

@samstein Fact Check: The ballroom is not designed by trump himself in some dark room The ballroom is designed by one of the most prestigious architecture firm on earth .

The New York Times takes an architectural look at the coming White House ballroom and finds there is a lot of ornamental stairs to no where and faux windows with bathroom stalls behind them

@KevinMcCau74874 @is_glasgow Get fucked.

@is_glasgow Glasgow isn't that city anymore. This would be more appropriate.

The Duke is coneless ... I repeat, the Duke is coneless ... this is not a drill ... Can all available Guardians of the Cone please report to their assigned posts as soon as possible to rectify the situation. #glasgow #dukeofwellington #roadcone #glasgowhumour

@BladeoftheS @IRStewart1 Shoot them?

BrewDog had more than £550 million in debts when the firm was handed over to administrators. Founders James Watt and Martin Dickie have approximately £550 million between them. The solution is simple.

@Johanne31785773 It's so they don't fall over. Hope this helps. x

Net Zero Lunacy This concrete-filled monstrosity is underneath every wind turbine in our once green and pleasant land !

@GerryAdamsSF U ok pal?

Cmon England!!!

@Devon_Eriksen_ You idiot.

@Chris_Davies You've got the wrong day you fucking idiot.

I am sick and tired of politicians proclaiming Ramadan Mubarak and quite deliberately ignoring that today is the beginning of Lent. This is a Christian land you traitorous wretches.

@tomhfh Got nothing to with the fact that cars weigh 3t now? You fucking idiot.

My car is getting absolutely potholemogged today thanks to councils SENDmaxxing.

@EdwardJDavey How did you vote?

This ruling shows that proscribing Palestine Action was a grave misuse of terrorism laws. Labour must accept its mistake, drop its appeal and stop wasting taxpayers' money on suppressing civil liberties.

@The_Ambassador_ I'm no expert but you might have more luck if you tried inflating them instead.

Okay how do I qualify to Botox scrotum? I'll do all the men of Twitter for free. Soft, smooth sacks for all.

What you’ve also got to remember is we’re fucking brilliant and have second guessed your edge lord bollocks.

@leicesterliz Absolutely no. What is wrong with you?! Please employ real teachers and tutors.

Every child should have an equal shot at success, no matter their background. That’s why we're going to work with teachers and experts to make safe, smart AI tutoring tools available to schools by the end of 2027 - providing extra help for up to 450,000 disadvantaged kids.

@TRobinsonNewEra I notice the signs are in French you stupid dwarf .

The powers that be like to tell today's generation that London was always a multicultural city. This was the London Underground in the 1970s. Notice anything?

@lucyjaynewhite1 You fucking idiot.

I don’t want multiculturalism. I just want England. English people. English ancestry. English accents. English history. English countryside. English literature. English banter. English pubs. English manners. English intellect. English everything. England for the English.

@ced_jayy Stolen tweet.

@lillai23 He looks like he fucks actual dogs.

😆

@sleafordmods You just sing your wee songs mate.

War experts, re trumps invasion-are we fucked?

@zarahsultana You're really fucking up here. Absolute shambles.

How many Holyrood budgets did you and the Scottish Greens vote for that funded arms companies complicit in Israel’s genocide in Gaza?

@tamerawallwork_ Rob!

Abysmal set up Rob 💀💀💀💀

@iamtomskinner You fucking idiot.

As most of you will have seen in the papers, I won’t be at the final of Strictly Come Dancing tonight. First thing I wanna say is this…. I spoke with my lovely dance partner, Amy Dowden to make sure she was okay with me not attending. She’s a good person and a good friend now, I’d never let her down. When I got given the opportunity to do Strictly back in April, I was buzzing. Not because I can dance…. I can’t. But because i really wanted to test myself and Learn something completely out of my comfort zone. On the night I left the show, I received an anonymous email claiming to be from a BBC exec with stats, saying I’d received far more votes than it appeared and it wasn’t right. I’ve since had the email independently verified. That same email mentioned the BBC was very angry an nervous simply because I had met JD Vance (USA VICE PRESIDENT). Let me be clear, I’m not a political bloke. Never have been. I just love my country and am patriotic. I’ve been made out by the press to be this political figure. If anyone was to get an opportunity like what I did, they would have taken it. I still think it is mad that a man like me who sells mattresses out of a van can call someone that senior in the world’s politics a friend now. I have asked to see the official voting figures to back up the ones I was sent in the email but was told they couldn’t be shown to me. And have never been shown in the history of the show. I have spoke about the email I had received to senior people and the BBC welfare team, who btw I genuinely respect. And they was the ones who advised me to get legal advice because of how unfair it all was. (This was not my idea) There were also smaller things that added to the feeling. Everyone received a welcome gift on the show….. skincare bits, face masks, that sort of thing. Mine was the only one that “Got Stolen” apparently. On its own, it’s nothing…. but added to everything else, it felt strange. I have been made out to be someone I actually am not simply because I took part in this show. The views were formed from media stories over the summer that simply wasn’t true or exaggerated. It ain’t fair what has happened to me and my family. I also want to say this carefully. After receiving this information and having it verified, a very senior BBC figure has since resigned. I’m not saying that had anything to do with me, but it did feel bizarre. Also the main hosts stepped down the following week. Again, I’m not saying it has anything to do with me. It’s just all very coincidental. I’m just being honest. I didn’t want any of this in the press either. A lot of what’s been written has been exaggerated or untrue about me and I’ve found it hard to take in over the past few months. This is my life, and it’s not nice what has been said about me if I’m honest. What I do find strange is that after a private Zoom call with BBC executives on Wednesday night about going forward, this was national news by Thursday morning. That tells me there’s been a leak. Because it ain’t come from me to be in the press. (It might be from the same person who sent me the email🤔) …..I didn’t want this to be national news, in fact I didn’t want any of this. But now I’m writing a statement so people know the truth as to why I’m not attending, I don’t want people thinking I am bitter when I ain’t. I don’t want more stories being wrote that ain’t true. I’m not kicking off for attention. I’m not saying I should’ve won either. I was rubbish at dancing😂 we all know that. But love me or hate me you do have to appreciate the massive following I have, I can’t even walk into the local Tesco without getting stopped for selfies. I just believe in fairness and respect. I wish every dancer tonight the very best. They’ve worked their socks off and they deserve their moment. As for me I’ve got fish to sell on my stall and a family I love more than anything. Thank you for the love as Always. Bosh❤️