Gavin Johnson

@Twyst Added!

I feel you, vending machine, I feel you.

My wish for 2016 is that people will put less effort trying to "prove they're right" and more effort trying to understand other perspectives

@CBCR2Morning This may have already been played, but it is a fantastic choice for Under the Covers: youtube.com/watch?v=6EPwRd…

Happy #CanadaDay to the world's Ned Flanders who shares a 3,000-mile border with Homer Simpson.

Kanye vs. Trump is exactly what America deserves.

To those of you taking the SATs tomorrow: BCCDECDABBCDEABCDEEBBCEBADEBCDEACBDEACBEDACBCAD. I damn well better see you in church on Sunday.

I have a @kanyewest complex.

BREAKING NEWS: CHINAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Advisors vow to bobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobbo

Lord of Light, make me productive, for the day is short and full of meetings.

It cost $700 million to reach Pluto. Which seems huge until you realize the new Vikings stadium is costing us $1 billion. #wrongpriorities

Ran into your ex earlier, they seemed really happy.

Steps for making friends 1. Identify potential friend 2. Say hi! 3. Break down in front of them 4. You have made an acquaintance! 5. blocked

yes I'll take one emotional intimacy please and thank you I'll put it in this bag of human closeness

My cat is sad because he can see into your past, is aware of your mistakes, and thinks you are too hard on yourself.

Pretty sure the bible says "love thy neighbor," not "love thy neighbor lol no homo"

Marriage used to be so simple. You'd meet a man, buy his daughter; make awkward conversation til she died in childbirth. What went wrong?