Mark Simmons: UK Tour Now On Sale

I’m going back out on tour with a new show in 2026. Can’t wait!

On the show tomorrow… 🏆 Promotion celebrations for Hull City 📺 @JoDaviesNotts discusses Dear England ⚽️ 📖 There’s another chance to hear my chat with actor @RCArmitage - as his thriller The Cut is released in paperback. Plus @JokesWithMark heads for Lincoln & Grimsby.

Thanks Bury St Edmunds, fantastic sold out crowd in the UK’s 2nd oldest theatre. Great support from Tom Elwes, as you can tell we are looking dame fine in the photo! Next stops Grimsby, Lincoln & Blackpool

Apologise it it wasn’t what you were expecting last night, I had to mime the whole show

Last few show left, what a month, every gig a banger! 4 to go and then onwards to the Hackney Empire 🔥

3 relationship jokes | On tour now

Isle of Wight you beauty! Show 78 of the tour so far, still feels like we’ve just started it. Thanks to everyone for coming so far, next stops Bury St Edmunds, Lincoln, Grimsby & Blackpool Fantastic support tonight from Natalie Bryce

If you’re mad enough to use this soap you need to sea kelp

Thank you Eastleigh, what a fun show last night. It was technically sold out but sorry to the 40 people who couldn’t come due to a health and safety issues with the Auditorium. I am coming to Portsmouth in the Autumn, hope you can make it 🤩 Great support from Tom Elwes 👌

Worst concert ever | On tour now

Next 2 weeks… 15 May - Eastleigh, The Point (sold out) 16 May - Isle of Wight, Quay Arts (sold out) 21 May - Bury St Edmunds, Royal Theatre (sold out) 27 May - Grimsby, Docks (last few) 28 May - Lincoln, New Theatre Royal 29 May - Blackpool, Viva

@Russ_Foster That’s amazing 🙌

@JokesWithMark I know it's not a competition, but, we've framed 4 😏 It's the first thing that greets any visitors to our home 😊

We have merch on this tour, some of my jokes on greetings cards. Really cool to see someone framed one 🤯

Naughty girlfriend

@Baz69 Sorry you couldn’t make it, hope she’s okay

@JokesWithMark Hey Mark I have a ticket for tonights show but due to my wife being in hospital I can't make it, happy to let someone have it so it doesn't get wasted, free of charge.

Fantastic full house crowd tonight in Shrewsbury. So much fun! Now treating ourselves a curry before staying the night in one of the UK’s most haunted hotels 😳

Backstage tour in Shrewsbury

A few more shows have sold out this month 🤯 Come on Lancaster, Lincoln and Blackpool, you’re not gonna let them show you up are you!

Sold out tonight in Worcester, third show of the tour in a Church and I wouldn’t altar it 🤓 Next stops Shrewsbury, Buxton and Lancaster

We’ve sold out the first three levels at the Hackney empire so we’ve opened up the gallery. They are a bit cheaper too so get em quick! Can’t wait to do this show, my biggest yet 🤩

Good morning everyone! Got some announcements coming soon but in the mean time here’s a joke for you 🤘