Mark Simmons: UK Tour Now On Sale

I’m going back out on tour with a new show in 2026. Can’t wait!

I was meant to post this joke tomorrow 🙄

I have the best fans! Thank you Diss, your were a hot crowd and a hot crowd and didn’t let the heat affect your energy 🙏 Thanks to the lovely audience members for my mug and cookies ❤️ Next stops Milton Keynes & Peterborough…

@RobJCantwell I enquired but it won’t work out logistically for the venue, but I will not overrun so should give everyone enough time if they live local

@JokesWithMark are you going to start early so we get home for the football tomorrow?

🚨Edinburgh Festival Announcement🚨I am returning to the fringe for the 19th year in a row with brand new jokes. Midday time slot, what a way to start the day 🎉

Surely it should be called the World Cup Goalden Boot

@marklowergurney 🙏🙏🙏

Loved it. I was the 39 year old that played cricket, sat in the front row

Bristol you beauty! Thanks to both audience for braving the heat. That is officially the most I’ve ever sweat on stage, felt like Lee Evans up there. 3 more shows until the mid tour break (for the Edinburgh Festival) I’m coming to Diss, Peterborough and Milton Keynes ❤️

Jokes Podcast instant classics. Two great episodes out now with Live at the Apollo’s Emmanuel Sonubi and Britain’s Got Talent’s Markus Birdman. Straight in with the jokes chat straight off the bat 🤩

@ItsMarkWebster 😂😂😂

There was a time you’d have had to be bringing me back sooooo many pairs of Fruit Of The Loom boxer briefs! Used ones, mind!! Congrats - helluva booking.

🚨Announcement🚨I’m coming to New York baby! I’m so chuffed to be bringing Jest To Impress stateside for a run of shows. Can’t wait! #newyork #tour #jokes #standup #funny

Show 86 of Jest To Impress last night in Liverpool was really fun 🙏 Great support from Adam Flood. Next stops Brighton, Bristol, Diss & Peterborough…

PUNditry England vs Croatia review | I just did an interview on BBC radio Stoke and they asked me to pun the match, did this in 20 minutes, my jokes on tour are better 😂

🚨New Episode🚨 Live at the Apollo’s Emmanuel Sonubi joins us for an in depth joke chat on the Jokes With Mark Simmons podcast. Already had great feedback about this one. Available to listen now…

Another review in, this time recommended Gig Of The Day in The Times. It’s my favourite show I’ve written so I’m really chuffed people are enjoying it. It’s the most reviewed show I’ve had too The Reviews Hub **** Chortle **** The arts desk - “Maestro of the one-liner”

Learning about world politics

Last night was an absolute dream. My biggest show ever at the Hackney Empire. I’m very lucky to be able to play a venue like that to my own audience. Thanks to everyone for jam packing the place, one of the best gigs of my life ❤️ Next stops Hull & Milton Keynes…

Big show tonight at the Hackney Empire. What a theatre! Can’t wait!! A few left up in the gallery if you want to see the first London date of the Jest To Impress tour 🤩

🚨New Episode🚨 It’s finally here, our guest is Edinburgh Award Newcomer Nominee Bilal Zafar. We dive straight in with jokes he likes but for whatever reason don’t work consistently enough yet. Check out the Jokes with Mark Simmons podcast now 🤓

🚨Announcment🚨 We have managed to reschedule the shows I missed due to illness. I’ll now be in Alnwick on 10th November and Forfar on 22nd November. (I’m not eating anything before I go to Alnwick)

I was in The Times yesterday, last few left up in the gallery for my Hackney Empire show on Friday. Can’t wait!