Jonsta

#BBCBreakfast having a graphic of diesel at under 1.7pl I went past a garage last night where it was 1.85pl

Today’s final score on the iplayer is 5Live’s coverage of Fulham v Burnley with the vidiprinter for the rest of the English leagues

A garage in Pagham is selling a 16 year old Mini Cooper for £1999

Want to go to a football game? But don’t have a ticket? You’ll be hit with a 5 year ban & a £1,000 fine if you try to get into a stadium without a ticket in England and Wales

#bbcnews had the chance for a #ChuckNorris joke & missed their opportunity

Doing my food shop at Sainsbury’s, picked up one bottle of Heinz Ketchup, got to the till & wasn’t allowed to buy it due to a safety concern

Tuchel has selected more keepers than centre forwards Why #ThreeLions

#LifeWithout sex has less consequences than life without bees

Belly laughing, alcohol & drugs could be used to help control your urges of the lack of sex after a year #LifeWithout

Sex on average was 4 times a month Is now twice a month #LifeWithout

Sex is 45 seconds on average per day #LifeWithout

We got to a European quarter final, Lyon didn’t Suck it bitches #cpfc

Seen the highlights of tonight’s game We need a new set piece coach We really should’ve scored way more than we did #cpfc

Only the best get a European quarter final 😎 #cpfc

I’m replacing Aki Riihilahti as my favourite player with Ismaïla Sarr #cpfc

Ismaïla Sarr’s Red & Blue Army #cpfc

A European quarter final What a time to be alive #cpfc #ConferenceLeague

Praise the lord for Ismaila Sarr #cpfc #ConferenceLeague

Extra time Really? Fuck sake #cpfc #ConferenceLeague

Nice to see we’re leading from another Sarr goal Has to be POTY #cpfc #ConferenceLeague