4PF🇿🇲🇲🇼

Went for viva. Examiner: “Relax, we’ll ask only basics.” Started with embryology.

Spanish Legends are buying clubs, the English Legends are starting podcasts 😂

Manager: I need you to work this Saturday. Me: No problem I might be late though, transport's slow on weekends. Manager: What time will you get here? Me: On Monday

Doctor: Do you smoke? Me: Yes, after big achievements in my life Doctor: No wonder your lungs are very healthy Me:

🚨🗣️ Luis Díaz: "When I was young, I had an Argentina jersey, and I told my friends that Messi gave it to me, and They all believed me because I was their leader and knew football very well. When I met Messi, I asked him for his jersey and told him the story. He said to me, 'Bring me that jersey so I can sign it and turn the lie into the truth, and now you'll have a real one! He also asked me for my jersey. When I gave it to him, he jokingly said, 'Tell your friends that Messi asked for your jersey!' He was very humble and shy. He has always been my idol."

The 4 most favorite sounds in every man’s life 😂😭

Bafazi I’ve got this😊 Hi, I made dinner reservations for us you can decide if you’re coming as company or dessert 🥹🖤

When a 🥷🏽asks me why I am single I tell him I got ghosted and when he asks why I tell him he choose peace. So now the 🥷🏽is thinking I'm toxic and he can leave me alone. Technically I'm not lying.

Now that Julius Malema lost his seat in Parliament… If Floyd Shivambu was patient just 2 more years He would be a CIC next week 😭😭😭

🚨 Pep Guardiola: “If we lose, it's over. But the other two results, knowing that Arsenal didn't win against Bournemouth, still we have games to play”.

when I see another person with my name :

Offset has rejected a $10 million divorce settlement offer from Cardi B and is demanding a larger portion of her assets, allegedly stating, "I built her brand—I deserve half".

Waiting for the day Malawians stop complaining about overpriced cars, houses, and rent, while defending those K100,000 haircut. Hair that grows back in a week. Overpricing is overpricing. We cannot be selectively outraged.

My goal is to get overly famous, shine for a couple years..then fake my death ⚰

Trump tips US pilot who was shot down $10 for not getting caught by Iran.

President Ramaphosa after hearing Julius Malema will be sent to jail the following day 😹

So that companies can pay you less if you’re black and more if you’re white for the same thing without anyone knowing

Phyzix in his next song 👇 Ndine cha mpala ndikuwala thwani thwani // Mafana mu ghetto akandiona amapanga run run // Za umphungu ndi za serious izi, siza fun fun //

This is my favorite scene from The Bible.

let me be clear: i know for a fact that it can