Keighty Tallman

Growing up in VT didn't prepare me for the real world. I suck at driving in traffic and I'm overly excited by Target

god created men and then gave us taylor swift as an apology

My 30 year old husband just legitimately asked me how to address an envelope

Do jobs* where it doesn't feel like everything is always a shit-show even exist? (*Career that can support my not modest but not luxurious lifestyle)

My favorite thing about 5am Orangetheory is there is no one before us that's leaving looking absolutely murdered that makes us wonder wtf we're about to endure

Dan decided having 6 dogs at our house this weekend was a good idea and I would now like to be uninvited from the BBQ I'm hosting

The “guns don’t kill people” people sure seem to think a book can make you gay.

Taylor Swifts' production team is absolutely incredible. @taylorswift13 and the show itself are amazing but the fact it went of without a hitch last night in the monsoon Foxboro was having is just 🤯

Dan asked me if I wanted to go see Zac Brown Band in Worcester on Friday and of course I said yes. Thankfully I also googled the concert and found out we're actually seeing Zach Bryan.

So glad I sent up alerts for spending on my personal credit card in case of fraud. Now I get notified when my husband buys something on our shared Amazon account after he "swears he checked it was charging the shared credit card"

Nothing makes me feel more superior than when both my dogs choose to cuddle with me rather than Dan

My worst personality trait is being supportive of my friends to the point of physical suffering i.e. my sister said yesterday she wants to run a half marathon and today I'm signing up for a half marathon even though I haven't run consistently in years 🙃

Opening a soda at work in your cube is so awkward because everyone else is just silently wondering if you're casually cracking a beer mid workday

Golf widow season

My favorite winter content is dogs that refuse to come inside because all they want to do is play in the snow. Very relatable honestly.

Having a breakdown tonight after discovering Tim Allen has been Santa for 28 years and I'm older than that

I cannot stop laughing. I can't believe this is real.

I got notified that my dad made a Twitter list called Family and added me. It said it has 3 members. I assumed it was me, my sister and my mom. Nope. It's me, my sister, and @dog_feelings

What is Joe Biden’s plan to get Taylor Swift to fit 229 songs into a two hour set

This is Oakley. Halloween is his absolute favorite holiday. Some people asked if he was a teddy bear, which is silly. He's clearly an Australian dog. 13/10

Dan hates grocery shopping. I hate cooking. So I do the grocery shopping and force Dan to pretend he's a contestant on Chopped where he has to create meals out the random food I've decided to buy each week.