Mak

I really miss those days when people use to write long paragraphs for your birthday and waited until 12:00 tryna be the first one to send you

@JoeBorgia3 DO IT

I think I want to get into elden ring??

who tf let me drink last night

Some dude on a motorcycle just cut me off as we were turning left and THEN proceeded to flip me off as if it were my fault for driving in my lane because he took too wide of a turn. Such a silly guy 🥰

I love that my neighbors know me for having well-behaved dogs when I walk them. I feel so powerful😈

I could never be a therapist because I can’t hear a single piece of gossip without asking for a picture of the person

"What if YOU had been aborted?" is never the take you think it is. This is the age of nihilism, people are wishing they had been aborted everyday.

I said to my wife "Do you think anyone will commit suicide because they could not get an abortion?" She instantly replied "yes." Then she added "there will be all those boyfriends and husbands that murder them because they couldn't get one too" and that shook my fucking world.

new rule if ur pro life u have to adopt at least 5 children

Treating myself tonight

Oops.

My toxic trait is watching someone dance and thinking that I could nail exactly what they did 💀

@tarlynmic WHENS THE HOUSE WARMING 🎉🎉🎉🎉

Celebrating homeownership with my honey 💕

if you actually cared about kids you should probably put more funding into schools, health care, shelters, foster care, and food programs, not force people who don't want kids to have them

Uber eats “you forgot to finish your order” notification is funny af because i ain’t forget, i just came to my senses