Kitty Millard

@WiggumCharm Woah! My record is 22 beer mats flipped down the pub and I’ve got really small lady hands! I am hurtling towards 50 so my testosterone levels may be rising 🤷🏻‍♀️

NOT ONE of these #Manosphere saddos has ever gone down the pub and had a pint. None of them have ever successfully flipped a beer mat and caught it. None of them have ever got the fruity to pay-out This alone disqualifies them from talking about masculinity. Fucking soft lads…

@PaulHeatonSolo I was 7, still 3 years away from hearing The Housemartins for the 1st time. Give me credit, Spotify didn’t exist - the only reason I got to eventually hear Happy Hour was because Mum bought me a cheap Hits of 1989 cassette. Some awful stuff but best shit present she ever bought!

40yrs ago today was the 1st date of The Twisting Roadshow. Beginning with an awful loss in Glasgow. WHAAAAT??

@PaulHeatonSolo @Dmoffat05895038 ‘Paul Heaton and the NIMBY Tosspots’ should be your next musical project 😂😂🙄

@Dmoffat05895038 I moved away before any real change, to be with my daughter, not cause of any sort of snobbery. I realise Hull's changed massively and not always for the better, as has parts of Manchester, but all I said is 'its alright, if a little run down'. All the best

Today I walked the 5.8 miles to work. From Withington, through Moss Side & Hulme- the bit Sir 'Jim Rat' has never visited [& never will]. The Claremont pub is still serving, and the area's alright, if a little run down. The final shot is of 'Jim's World', of bribery & money.

@PaulHeatonSolo Where’s the option for almost!

Meanwhile, in the now, today was the first day in the recording of my 23rd album 😲 how many do you all own

And so it begins...

@KirstieMAllsopp Got RSI scrolling to find someone who agrees with you.

A writer so successful that today is a day dedicated to him in schools all over the country thinks it is reasonable that he travels for free due to his age. People have to stop taking things they do not need, it is wrong and it is bankrupting our country.

@PaulHeatonSolo Spice Girls, Croydon Wetherspoons?

Name that band, name that pub!

@PhilRob52106258 @PaulHeatonSolo What the world needs now is more Twitter content like this 🙌🏼

@PaulHeatonSolo Did stopping in Bacharach influence your song writing 🤣

Bacharach Germany 25/5/1981 me & JB went separate ways, deciding to meet in Limburg midday 30/5/81. After 2/3 nights in Idstein I got to Limburg on the 28th & met a group of left-wing German friends who I still know today and influenced my politics. We could've chosen other towns

@PaulHeatonSolo Talking about sunsets and sunflowers, Paul. Aging is actually quite enjoyable at times 😊

Summer's truly arrived

@FootyScran Pepperoni pizza at @ValerengaOslo. £34.99 with a pint of Ringnes and a G&T. Will take it, it was lush!

These are the lovely people who looked after us at the Leonardo Hotel 💓

@TeaAndCopy 😂

Every day I ask my daughter what she did at school and the answer is always, “Just the usual”. Received her end of year report and there’s a photo of her in a full beekeeper’s outfit surrounded by bees holding a shitload of honey.

@PaulHeatonSolo Enjoy tonight and say hello to Simon who’s looking after you 😊

Whoops

@badly_drawn_boy Nice coincidence for listening and reading at the same time! #Manchester #Hacienda #FAC51

@PaulHeatonSolo People remember where they were when Bob Dylan unplugged. I’ll remember where I was when Heaton went beatless. A new sound which all mankind will follow. Wars will end. Nature thrive. My netball team will finally win a game. The world is changing and I was there when it started.

If I were only dafter. I might be making hymns. To the liquor of your laughter. And the lacquer of your limbs. By the brilliant Witter Bynner en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Witter_By…

@PaulHeatonSolo @Pompey @OfficialPVFC @WFCOfficial @dundeeunitedfc @DundeeFC @FisherFC @FCInterTurku @realracingclub @SheffieldUnited @FCPorto @SUFCRootsHall @fcvolendam @kaldenkirchenc1 @CelticFC @gnkdinamo @stpatsfc Going to Oslo in August and hoping to go to a game so will see what we can pick up for your collection

Wall art collection PT 1 @Pompey @OfficialPVFC @WFCOfficial @dundeeunitedfc @DundeeFC @FisherFC @FCInterTurku @realracingclub @SheffieldUnited @FCPorto @SUFCRootsHall @fcvolendam @kaldenkirchenc1 @CelticFC @gnkdinamo @stpatsfc

@PlanetStarfield @PrivateEyeNews And that’s what a democracy and free speech allows you to do.

@PrivateEyeNews Private Eye is not relevant or funny anymore. You may as well buy The Big Issue.

Donald Trump. An Apology. The new Private Eye is out now

@PaulHeatonSolo Like the rain blew into town, kidnapped the sun And stole its brolly

A late addition to the tour is this splendid umbrella with lyric and signature. For when the raindrops…

@Ramagan1967 @PaulHeatonSolo That’s my Christmas jumper slogan sorted 👍🏼

@PaulHeatonSolo Dog walking is an under rated endeavour 👍