kolby ¦ 🌻

The new Instagram update really understood what I was looking for: - none of my friends’ content - reposted TikToks from meme accounts I do not follow - 100x more ads - everything played at full volume against my will

“ohhh so my rising sign is how people view me and my sun sign is how I view myself?”

i think JFK did all that stuff for attention and so he could get the airport named after him

@dodax_ch hello!! i need help with an order please i am still waiting

If we found out reincarnation was real and had a way to verifiably track who a reincarnated person was in a previous life, how long would it take for companies to make sure you inherited debt from your previous lives?

i’m like “i don’t give a f*ck” then have an anxiety attack

guy at dunkin goes “that’ll be $18. haha i’m just fucking with you. that’s starbucks shit.” then leans in really close to me and whispers “you smoke bud?”

hey (with intentions of building a lego set together)

if the writer is british and has siblings: “oi cunt. mum said to tell you you’re a prick”

Sri Lankan protesters watching their protest in the presidential house..🤣🤣🤣🤣

sure every trip to the grocery store costs twice as much as it used to but hey at least the quality of those groceries has also decreased significantly

plane intercom: “is there a doctor on board??” me rising out of my seat: “and are they single??”

what kind of plant is this???