LGBTQ+ Confessions East Africa

Reading articles about loneliness in the later lives of African queer men seems far-fetched until the 30s arrive! I hope I’m not just speaking from the experience of one that has been in a couple of long-term relationships spanning 4 years, then 1 or so in my early twenties, but it seems like most millennials whose portion was never lavender marriages are crossing their arms on the chest and nodding their way into acceptance! Nothing hurts like not having anyone to check on you (well, family does, but not in the same way a partner would), no one missing you or asking how your day has been, not having anyone reassure you how valued or important you are and how the steps you are making towards life or situations are enough and appreciated. Ohhh the sleepless nights, the checking DMs from persons you hope for this but there is the ghosting and all that. The high libido past 30 is crazy yet the law of looks works on diminishing returns and remember our community here knows one conversational currency, good looks on a younger energetic fellow. It gets lonelier at the top indeed! Anyways despite being in some prize-oriented relationships before, broken a number of times, I still choose to pursue a road to a happier life where I don’t just feel loved but I also put all this affection and care I am heavily laden with to someone that deserves it.I have dated off social media, dating apps, referrals and Grindr lately lol but I am choosing a different approach today, let’s try matchmaking! I am a personality guy, more into very mindful people, intelligent and compassionate ones while sexually my spec are the thick guys, bubble ass, thick thighs and all that; of course you all know sexual compatibility plays an integral role in queer relationships especially in a country where we spend the first half of our lives not expressing ourselves. - Anon

Dear admin, I need to be honest about something. I struggle with being satisfied with just one person. Even when things are good, a part of me keeps searching like I’m chasing a feeling I don’t fully understand. The endless DMs and requests don’t make it easier… they keep pulling my attention, feeding that restlessness in me. It’s not about anyone lacking it’s something within me that doesn’t stay still. And I know that’s not fair. Someone please advise me on how to settle otherwise I tend not to settle for long in relationships! - U.Z

Violence against Uganda’s LGBTQ community surges in new year || 76 Crimes 76crimes.com/2026/03/13/vio…

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I know I have been initiating. Ain't that exhausting? I know I have been trying. Perhaps you did not get what you need. You built a wall, so tall and yet I was left hanging. You put me aside and moved on, with no single word, no closure. Silly me. Today I make up my mind that there is someone out there for me. I will erase all your lies and replace them with hope. How rejection stings, each time it feels fresh like a thorn in a wound. Regardless of what stage. The struggle of trying to get with a dl man. They become so cold you freeze and wonder tf! I'm heartbroken . Sometimes it won't work. Tell your heart to move on; otherwise, settling for less will never work. - Chris

Choice and preferences shouldn't be used as a shield to dehumanize others. I understand that every being has their own tastes, but expressing them in a way that harms others is not appropriate. For example, "I don't like fat people" it's okay to have that preference, but it doesn't require reciting it like a poem. Similarly, "I don't like short people" it's okay to have that dislike, but you don't need to spread it as if it were gospel. And, "I don't like feminine guys" it's fine to have that opinion, but there's no need to make it a hit song. Having dislikes is totally normal, but exposing what disinterests you doesn't make you right; rather, it makes you narrow-minded, self-centered, and a proud cunt. You can't like everything, and that's perfectly fine. But criticizing what you dislike is totally insane. The world is full of variety, take what you like and leave the rest to others, in peace and harmony. - Lim J

Have you ever had someone who loves all of you, your good and your worst and never demands much from you? If so, then you have the right person. You cheat, disappoint, and ignore them, but they choose to stay. That's truly the kind of person only lucky ones get to meet. But sadly, even after all the good deeds, we end up seeing them as extras. I've never realized that one day I would regret being selfish until I lost my Holy Mary. He was so patient, understanding, and protective, things I found disturbing at the moment. But no matter what I do now, I can't bring him back into my life; he moved on. The lesson I learned is never lose what you need over what you want. You can change what you want, but never what you need. - Anon

Hello Admin. I just want to share something that’s been bothering me. In our community, there are people who treat relationships like a quick opportunity for convenience. They jump into something expecting financial support, without even taking time to build trust or genuinely get to know each other. I recently met someone who seemed to think they had found an ATM. Within just a few weeks, the attitude became toxic and manipulative. Anytime they had a money problem, it somehow became my fault for “not providing”, yet we barely even knew each other. My caution to everyone is this, be careful who you let close to you. Not everyone who shows interest has good intentions. Take time to know people, set boundaries early, and don’t let anyone pressure you into responsibilities that were never yours. In real life, mutual respect and effort matter more than convenience. - U.Z

Recently, I had a conversation with one of my friends and I was wondering why most men find the whole idea of commitment hard, and this person told me something but the more I think about it, the more it makes sense. Apparently, most men want you to look good for them body and face card tea, look stylish only to sit there and look almost like a trophy they can show off and they don’t want to see you with nobody but at the same time, some of them still want the freedom to explore other options while expecting you to just stay there waiting. That’s completely bs, like dude, I have my own life, goals, and self respect. I’m not going to just sit around looking good for someone who takes me for granted while doing whatever they want. If someone wants commitment from me, then it has to go both ways; respect, loyalty, and effort from both sides. Otherwise, what’s the point? - Bahati

Hey Admin, I have reason to believe that someone is spreading HIV on the Yellow app, whether intentionally or unintentionally. Please caution readers who use the app to always use PrEP or to make sure they know the status of the person they are hooking up with. This world is evil. - Anon

Greetings, Admin. Queer people in Entebbe are over doing it by displaying their sexuality in broad day light and creating increased homophobia and resentment! In the spirit of safety, let us be mindful of our environment, otherwise attacks on us may escalate and endanger innocent people as well. - Anon

Hello Admin. I'm a survivor of this guy Morris who lures queer people and steals from them. BEWARE GUYS, he is still active and operating. When you video call him, he uses other people's pictures to answer or pretends to be someone else. He is currently operating in Rubaga and...

If I’m desperately looking for someone like me, then there has to be someone else out there who’s also looking for someone like me too, right? - Ferd

Public Service Announcement! Earth to the beautiful people of this platform. Can I have your eyes, please? I've been doing some recon, and I've noticed a crisis; most of us are single not because we are holding out for a royal title or a supermodel, but because of a severe lack of motion. Apathy, if you will. Here is my hot take, sue me later, my little nudge, my "stop being a ghost and start living" speech. Instead of perfecting your "accidental" scrolling-past your crush's account for the 47th time this week, how about you just take a shot? The metaphorical kind, though a liquid courage primer is optional. And while we are at it, can we PLEASE normalize giving and receiving compliments like the emotionally mature adults we pretend to be? Because clearly, the subtle hints aren't working. Y'all need a neon sign, a marching band, and possibly a skywriter to notice that someone is into you. God forbid you see a genuinely fine human and just shrug! No! Deploy a compliment. It's a low-stakes investment with potentially very high returns. You think someone is already taken? Ask yourself. Sure, he might have a girlfriend, but is she actually his soulmate? She might be married, but is she really married married? He might be straight, but did he personally file a restraining order against you? No? Then the door is at least ajar. Lower your standards by an inch. Not to the floor, just enough to let in some fresh air. Drop a message in that inbox. What's the worst that happens? They ignore you? They're already ignoring you now! At least this way you know. Be respectful, be classy. Freaky, if the vibe permits. And if the planets align and the WiFi is strong, who knows? You might just flirt your way up his pants. 😉 Look, all I'm saying is; life doesn't have to be this quiet library, cause a little chaos in someone's DMs. Deal with the potential awkwardness later. Regret is for things you didn't do, not for sending a slightly bold message at 11pm. Because when you strip it all back, it's about connection. It's about finding your person, even if it's just for a funny conversation that goes nowhere. Now go forth and be brave. - HisMan

I don't know if y'all know what's happening in Nigeria, but things are crazy over there. The homophobia is getting out of control. Literally every single day, there's something new coming up. About 2 weeks ago, there was a video circulating of campus students chasing gay boys at a hostel while screaming, "Kill them!" How can people be so inhumane? The worst so far happened a few days ago. Back in October last year, there was this incident where a boy was scammed, beaten, and thrown out of a three-storey building. A few days ago, he passed away after fighting for his life in the hospital all this time. As the family was planning to bury him, a mob of homophobic people came to celebrate his death and interrupt his funeral. Seeing all this on my timeline has made me realise that the world can be cruel if you're gay or part of the LGBTQ+ community. Y'all should be safe out there. I hope Uganda doesn't get out of hand like that. It's very scary to see. And I would really like to say, let's please work hard and make money, because if you have it, you have a very easy ticket to be untouched (I think). It's rare, or I've never heard, of a wealthy gay person being lynched by a mob. And if possible, leave the country and go where it's kinda easy to be yourself. Surround yourself with people who won't endanger you. That's all I gotta say. - Mob Love💙

Sometimes I honestly ask myself, what do gay people really want? Someone wants feminine, but then you’re too feminine. You try to tone it down, then suddenly you’re not feminine enough. You’re manly, but not manly enough. Or now you’re too manly. You’re thick, people call you fat. Someone else says you’re not fat enough for them. Another says you’re just fat. So, where do I fall? Am I fat? Am I thick? Am I medium? And if I’m in the middle, is that even attractive to anyone? It feels like no matter where you stand, you’re always standing wrong. You’re not too small, not too big. Not too feminine, not masculine enough. Not soft enough, not hard enough. Always almost right, but never enough. One person says, “I don’t like bottoms with beards.” Another says that’s exactly what they want. Someone wants a top with a big dick but then it’s uncut, so suddenly that’s a problem too. You can tick ten boxes and still be rejected for the one you can’t change. It’s exhausting. Maybe the problem isn’t standards but how rigid we’ve made them. Can we try to understand that people come as they are? That a bottom can have a beard and still be a man. That masculinity and femininity can exist in the same body. That no one is going to arrive perfectly packaged; tall, dark-skinned, cut, manly, clean, bearded, driving, rich everything. You’ll always find three or four reasons someone doesn’t fit your ideal. And yet, you might find a feminine guy who’s confident and grounded. Or someone soft in private and straight-acting in public. Or someone imperfect but genuine. Can we learn to work with what we have, not in a defeated way but in an appreciative one? Can we try to see people, not checklists? Because this is really hard for some of us. And sometimes, all we want is to be liked for being human not for fitting into a box that keeps changing. Try to appreciate us. - Kay

Dearest Admin, it's been a while. My therapist has cleared me, with a standing open appointment: I can reach out if I feel I need a consultation. Now, this is something I haven't shared fully with my therapist, because, the last time I tried to share about it, they postponed my discharge. I still do not feel sexual. I know it's been long since Bryan passed, and I should have moved on from the pain of his loss, but it's like I still can't. My body goes in shock at the thought of another person touching me sexually. It closes off completely. I thought therapy could help me there but it didn't. Mostly because, although my therapist lied that they are open-minded, they were always a bit judgemental when I had to share about my sexuality. In a way, it was like what they really wanted to "help" me with, is get over being gay. Anyway, my mind might be playing tricks. - Mukyala Bryan

There’s ignorance I can no longer tolerate in Uganda these days! Whenever a bigot sees two men in love or just together, they immediately ask who the woman or lady is in the relationship! Today I lashed out at someone who said that, and he ended up looking completely stupid. We need to stop asking gay couples such questions, they’re derogatory, annoying, and homophobic in nature!! - Uganda Zaabu

Are there quick fixes for my broken heart? When I turned 25, I lived wild and free, accepting who I say I am. I don’t need to come out to anyone, if they wanna know, let them find out for themselves. But lately my identity has been shaken because of my feminine energy leaking out. I have been broken. A few minutes ago I was preparing to cry before heading to bed, as always. Hihihi 😁 I keep thinking of this man I met, probably in his 30s, living alone in a whole 2-bedroom apartment full of lies and insecurities. He was the DL kind who wants it but clearly he’s just having a piece for convenience. Once I poured out my heart to him, I tasted the heavy downpour. It probably built resentment, and he lost interest. Imagine feeding him my ass for over 6 months. I even got the thought of moving in with him. He had great cassava, he could pound it till the juice came out. I somehow knew he would breadcrumb me, and I still gave in, believing that all things are fuckin’ possible. But this year, when I think of him, I want to mourn for myself like, “What was that?!” Second time I’m not learning a lesson. Imagine the many he has done that to. I will probably never hear from him because he told me so, and I dismissed it at first because I was feeling butterflies. He didn’t say what I did wrong. So guys, what’s the remedy? Because this journey might take a while. Let me just buckle up and see life unfold. I cannot sleep right now. I’m broken but have no one to talk to. All I do is watch porn, beat my meat and sleep because the yellow app messed me up and I quit using it. - Chris

Admin, a nail technician is urgently needed to work in a salon at UK Mall - Kansanga. The person has to be staying around the nearby areas, they can reach out to you for my handle. Thank you! - Timmy