Chalupa Lou

@kaysarahsera I once got to take a picture with Jason Momoa and right after the camera went *click* I looked up at him and word-vomited “I love you!” And then ran away in embarrassment. Here is the photo

No one warned me that 30% of lawyering is just fighting with Microsoft Word about formatting

Let the record reflect it is insanely difficult to do a trial while “Lost in the Woods” from Frozen 2 is in your head on repeat

One of my biggest flexes is probably matching on Hinge with dudes who bullied me in high school and I just genuinely think they don’t recognize me because my name is Lou and I got hot

Can someone set me up on a date with a finance bro so he can explain to me which large-cap stocks to invest my retirement in please because this girl doesn’t know the difference been “large cap value” vs “large cap bland” vs “large cap growth”

Me calling the Judge to wake him up for a 4th search warrant tonight

@emjo_mahane Girl. When I was pregnant I kept a list of the unhinged reasons I cried 😅

@TiptonRedsHead Thanks so much coach 💙

My ex-husband is engaged lmao. Our divorce has been final for less than 4 weeks and he is ENGAGED 😂

So tonight, it’s the Gentlemen Liberty against the Gentlemen Fever in the MNBA Playoffs.

The most millennial thing I’ve ever done might be finalizing my divorce on the day Taylor Swift dropped Tortured Poet’s Department

God help us all, Taylor is in her Lawyer Era

when you get the evermore type of drunk instead of reputation.

Jury trials are funny because when else do you have an audience that literally swore an oath to pay attention to you

No shoving after shove time has ended

I see no differences

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived omg let’s goooo

Few things bring me as much joy as reading the branding/labels on the drugs police find. They’re like ice cream flavors and I like that.

I’m convinced men would think more seriously about marriage and divorce if they were the ones having to change their name because it is such a pain in the butt and also an emotional rollercoaster tbh.