Laced Fish

This Two Ronnies sketch was never televised originally (it appeared many years later), but I’ve no idea why. It was written by Ronnie Barker, under the pseudonym Gerald Wiley, and for my money it gives Four Candles a run for it’s money. Seriously, if I’d written something this good I’d just retire immediately. What a talent! Good morning.

@gabberoly @chatswithem @JohnSimpsonNews @adamboultonTABB Incorrect

@chatswithem @JohnSimpsonNews @adamboultonTABB Correct

Congratulations to Westminster Council for their acceptance of Banksy’s brilliant statue near Pall Mall. Let’s hope it stays — a welcome note of calmness and humour at a time of growing extremism.

@Joeingram1 @VanjaPoker And will forever consign it as a niche sport & form of popular entertainment 😪

@VanjaPoker the toxicity is what makes it special

This take might upset some people, but I need to get it off my chest. The poker world has a serious problem. There is beef every week, and every few months something gets exposed that makes you think, how was this person ever celebrated in the first place? Someone makes a bad fold on TV and hundreds of people are insulting that player over nothing. Here’s what I’ve learned: If you are involved a lot in this community, the toxicity can drain you if you let it. The gossip and constant noise don’t make you a better player or move you forward. They just pull you down. But here’s the other side, which is equally true. Some of the most genuine, brilliant people I’ve ever met came from this game. This game attracts both extremes: the worst and the best. So protect your energy. Don’t put people on pedestal, everyone makes mistakes but learn to tell the difference between someone who makes mistakes and someone who is simply not a good person. Stop making the wrong people famous. Start appreciating the ones doing real work. Think twice before posting a rude comment. Spread positivity, not hate, focus on what moves you forward, and the game we all love. It’s worth it.

@stealvarop @legsidelizzy Muppet

@Berkshireblade @legsidelizzy Sense this one probably has a daughter ‘in the system’ so it a bit sensitive on this subject

I am at the Rose Bowl where there is a men’s match on the nursery ground and a women’s match on the main ground. And that my friends is progress.

@thecricketdraft quick question, i'm The Aforementioned Cricket Team. I am a Glos supporter though this season I seem to be a Derbyshire supporter. Despite their recent generosity I want to be in the Gloucestershire dugout but I don't know how to change that, can you assist?

@Ben_Wisden Cricket is the only global sport that doesn't use substitutes. It's insanity that it doesn't. Yeah it's v complicated for cricket to use them and that's why this implementation has turned into a significant bodge job.

Tom Bailey, who last week was deemed 'too good' for Lancashire to sub in for Ajeet Singh Dale, has now resorted to bowling off-spin, with Lancs unable to sub in Tom Hartley, also 'too good', for the injured Arav Shetty, leaving them with no spinner. Congrats to all involved

@BrianRoemmele I really don't understand what your point is. If it's about time travel I fear your follower count.

How did on image from last nights’s events loop back in to what are a high order number of coincidence? Well I had some assistance: An AI Model I built. Trained on first principles and no regard to “looking bad” with “conspiracies”. Just empirical observation. The agent AI platform research and the pipeline found a needle in the haystack of key frame images and made what it called “The Full Circle”. What does it mean? I asked and I hope to publish it soon.

@amanda_spielman Suella Braverman, Great judgment on her reappointment.

Real insight from someone who has actually done the job

@matthewsyed To call trump a genius at anything is sheer stupidity. No amount of click bait word salad will ever justify this. #thekinghasnoclothes

Trump is a political genius but his opponents are too busy frothing at the mouth to see it 👇 thetimes.com/article/04bafe…

@Landeur Probably didn't need a community note TBF 👍👍

Oh now they add this community note and I look like a clown. Thanks a lot.

Ireland, British! After all, it’s just off our coast!

@DarryllFish @SavagePoker Both terms are antiquated and hardly used today. The connotations of using the term gentlemen are insignificant. The term lady is often/mostly used in a pejorative, patronising and condescending manner. The two terms aren't equal, regardless of their connected origin story.

@SavagePoker “Lady” is commonly used as the feminine form of “Gentleman”. I don’t see why anyone would be offended by that, but then again, people do just love being offended these days…

What is the correct term for a tournament that includes females only?

@thedailymemes_ Janky take.

Pretty much how it is

@PokerStars @lax_graff Folding aces infers no width whatsoever. (Tbh If I were in that situation, I'd know it's a good/correct fold but would likely muppet-call)

@lax_graff How wide would you be calling that shove in a satellite?

Folding aces pre-flop 🤯 @spraggy knows his satellite strategy. 💪

@HackedOffHugh Log books were epic, them were the days..

Rare great news about the government finally banning phones in schools. Enraging champagne and hand clapping emojis all round. Next step - get rid of screen based learning. It’s crap, it’s stealing the children’s data and it deepens their screen addiction. Here below is me ranting with the great Prof Jonathan Haidt and Sophie Winkleman on this.

@junglemandan @TheEcho13 "we"... 👍

@TheEcho13 We get offended when you say all men are pigs, all men are narcissists, blah blah, when it is factually wildly incorrect. Not hard to figure out.

No. I’d rather men tell us why women can describe something horrible that a man has done, and men who swear they’d “never do that” get offended and abusive.

@kingmoonmaker @RichardBentall @JonathanPieNews I assume you unintentionally proved Richard correct with this reply? 🤔

@RichardBentall @JonathanPieNews Someone who falls for the propaganda around Open borders, calling anyone who does not want this a racist is just one of many reasons

The fact that the White House overtly backed a pro-Moscow, pro-Russia, pro-Putin leader of an EU, Nato member state is terrifying. The fact that Orbán is now gone is one mildly shining light in a terrifying state of International affairs. Congratualtions Hungary!

@RozzaKat13 @jaketapper Is it? They haven't got any weapons which can target the US, and their nuclear program was already obliterated last year according to trumpf. So it's not "us or them" Iran, Venezuela and Greenland have one thing in common- vast untapped natural resources. 🤔🤔

@jaketapper It’s us or them! What part of “death to America” don’t you understand?

The president of the United States, 8:06 am ET, threatens Iran: “A whole civilization will die tonight, never to be brought back again.“

@Margaret_E_Hugh @mtvne_ @im_PULSE @BBCNewsnight @DouglasKMurray @BBCNews I get it now. Love thy neighbour but only if you share the same norms and values as me.

@LacedFish @mtvne_ @im_PULSE @BBCNewsnight @DouglasKMurray @BBCNews Muslims are not my neighbours.

@mtvne_ @roxy_surfball @Offnobdarren @im_PULSE @BBCNewsnight @DouglasKMurray @BBCNews 'us' I don't have any tweets criticising any religion. I push back on tweets and offensive ones at that. You are welcome to have a look at my profile and find any evidence of my 'sexism' and if you do I'll apologise for it.

@LacedFish @roxy_surfball @Offnobdarren @im_PULSE @BBCNewsnight @DouglasKMurray @BBCNews Show us a tweet where you have ever criticised Islam. Should be easy as you 'regularly challenge misogyny and sexism on twitter'

@Offnobdarren @mtvne_ @im_PULSE @BBCNewsnight @DouglasKMurray @BBCNews There you go. The only why to win an argument is to resort to simplistic, base insults. I tend to compose witty barbed ones myself. Each one to their own I guess.

@LacedFish @mtvne_ @im_PULSE @BBCNewsnight @DouglasKMurray @BBCNews Retards hate facts.